Dating, Marriage and Your Mindset

marriage, dating, love, midlife dating, what are you creating in your dating? mindset

Dating, Romance and Your Romantic Relationships – What are you thinking?

Welcome back to Hard-Truth Monday! 😂

Does that make you want to grab a cup of tea and tuck in for a good read or grab your keys and run out the door? I’ve got you.

If you want to be married and you are still single you need to be willing to look at what you are thinking about dating, relationships, marriage and men. Mostly, though, you are going to have to really examine what you think about yourself, and yourself in relation to each of these. If you’re not willing to at least look at it – and take action to change what you’re thinking – your marital status will not change.

OMGoodness, that sounds so haaaard! Can’t you date, or even get into a relationship with someone, without doing it? Sure, if you want just any relationship. 

Come on, you can do hard things! Especially in service of something as important as your lifelong, personal happiness! Your mindset is of paramount importance in your creating the enriched, romantic relationship with your right, high-quality partner, one that befits who you are and what you deserve in life. And that’s what you truly desire.

Think about all the times in the past that you sabotaged what you thought was a phenomenal relationship. I bet if you’d had a peek under the hood to see how your destructive thoughts were creating the impulses that led to your ruinous actions … well, you might be married by now!

Dating, Romance and Your Romantic Relationships – What are you feeling?

Did you know that the thoughts you’re thinking are creating the emotions you’re feeling? Yes, really! And the way you’re feeling is the fuel for your words and actions. And your words and actions are the way a man experiences you.

Let’s think about that for a second … the way a man experiences you is through the actions you take and the words you speak. So, if you were on a date with someone who you already saw as a great candidate to snuggle up with for the rest of your life … how would you want him to experience you? Why, as an equally great candidate for him to snuggle up with, right?

Now, imagine coming home from work and rather than having left early, getting stuck late and not even being able to clear off your own desk because you kept getting called away to cover somebody else’s duties, getting stuck in traffic, having to stop for gas ‘cause you’re running on fumes … what might you be thinking about having to meet your date in one short hour instead of the leisurely two hours on which you’d planned? If it were me I’d think about curling up in a ball and ordering in. Or just getting into bed and pulling the covers over my head. I’d be thinking about anything but having to dress up, slap on a smile and go meet someone I’d hoped might be my forever one. 

Feeling a bit … stressed?

How many times in the past have you felt stressed on a date? How did you act? How did you speak? How did you behave? How much fun did you have on a date when you were feeling stressed? 

You don’t ever have to feel stressed on a date again. 

Dating, Romance and Your Romantic Relationships – Who Are You Attracting?

Do you think that the Law of Attraction means that if you keep dating people who are unavailable or commitment-phobes, or don’t show up on time or stand you up completely, or simply don’t appreciate your qualities or don’t respect or love you the way you want to be loved it means there’s something wrong with you? NO!

It means that YOU are not being totally available to yourself. You are not committing to yourself. You are being disrespectful and unloving and unappreciative of your amazing qualities and so you are attracting people who mirror those behaviors back to you.

In the words of Brooke Castillo, “You can’t expect someone to do something for you that you’re not willing to do for yourself. Loving yourself is definitely one of those things.”

Oh, and btw, the Law of Attraction is not about who’s attracted to you, it’s about who you’re attracted to. Why are you still dating people who are unavailable or commitment-phobes or don’t show up on time or stand you up completely or don’t appreciate your qualities or don’t respect or love you the way you want to be loved?

Because a teeny, tiny part of your mind thinks that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Even though, deep down in your heart, you know it’s not.

Operate from your heart! Control all the parts of your life that you can, and your thoughts are absolutely under your control! This isn’t about you sitting demurely waiting for the right man to suddenly realize he’s uncontrollably attracted to you. This is about you creating the circumstances that will present you in your most sincere, genuine, fun-loving, irreverent, full-blown self, so the one who is seeking only you can find you!

When you’re finally so tired of being alone that you’re willing to do what it takes to feel joy in partnership, you’re going to need a coach. Because if you could have gotten from where you are to where you want to be on your own, you’d be married by now.


Romantic Relationships Reasons Why Now!


Yes! You Can Create the Romantic Relationship You Want!

What if you weren’t supposed to be married to that guy you dated in college?

And the reason I know you’re wondering that is, I used to – very occasionally – wonder that myself. Until the day he found me on Facebook and we friended each other and started following each other’s posts and … it took me less than a minute to realize that he and I were polar opposites in our values and I gladly gave up the FOMO and embraced the JOGO! (Joy of Getting On) I live serene in the knowledge that it worked out exactly as it should!

You CAN create the enriched romantic relationship you desire and have fun doing it. How do I know? Because I’ve done it! I’m in it! Here’s one way:

Instead of spending a lot of time thinking about the men you knew in the past, and all the reasons you believe it didn’t work out with any of them, think about the kind of man you’d like to meet in your future – and know the future can start now!

Would you like a partner who is very talkative, very contemplative or very funny? Looking for a man who enjoys going out, staying in, a little of both? Kids, no kids? Pets, no pets?

Envision the life you want to live and the ways you want to live that life; all the days, the weeks, the years of it – make it real for yourself. Funny, isn’t it – I’m asking you to dream for real

Dating can be fun. Not only can be, it’s imperative! Why? When was the last time you willingly did something that wasn’t any fun? Yes, willingly! You want to look forward to meeting him; the one you seek who’s seeking you, right? 

Think about this – you’ve tried doing it the way so many other women do – believing that dating is hard and feeling resistant to it and ultimately not having any fun doing it.

Now try believing it’s simple when you know how to do it (and I’m an expert in helping women learn how) and feeling willing and having fun! You’ll thank me later. As a matter of fact, you both will! 

Click on the link to learn how to make dating a lot more fun!

Romantic Relationship? Yes I can!

Yes! You Will Create the Romantic Relationship You Want!

I know this is true because you have no other option. Well, I mean, maybe you do have another option, but you don’t strike me as the kind of woman who will not achieve something that is so important to you, something that lies at the very essence of who you are and who you believe yourself to be. 

When you envision the life you want to live, how will you feel when you set eyes on your man for the very first time? Will you feel that spark of recognition you’ve felt at other times about other imperative things; will you have an aha! moment?

Will you feel excited or nervous or curiously calm?

What about the way you’ll feel on that first Saturday night when you realize you could just as happily go to the grocery store as a nightclub, or stay home altogether, because you’re no longer seeking, you’ve found him, and as long as you’re with him you’re where you want to be.

You get to think thoughts and feel feelings that spark joy for you! You get to feel willing and excited and nervous all at the same time. You’ve spent your whole life having and being and doing for others and now you get to have, be and do for you.

Oh, yeah, that question that keeps popping up … if it was meant to happen why hasn’t it by now? What if you couldn’t have met your right match before now? Maybe he was married before and then divorced and spent time doing the work he needed to do to get ready for you? Maybe he was raising a child or caring for an elder or getting his business to the point where he can take more time off now than he ever could before?

This is how to stop thinking about your past and trust that it’s all worked out exactly as it was supposed to – repeat after me:

I know it worked out the way it was supposed to because it did.

Repeat again.

And again.

If you need more help implementing what you’ve learned, that’s what I’m here for.

Click on the link to learn how to make dating a lot more fun! 

Romantic Relationship? Yes I can!

I want to. That’s the best reason ever to Create Your Romantic Relationship!

The relationships in your past are in your past for a reason. Whether you’ve had what you consider to be many or a few, they didn’t work out because they weren’t supposed to.

Now, what do you want to do about creating the most enriched romantic relationship you’ve ever experienced? Or, what do you want to do about creating the most enriched romantic relationship you’ve ever experienced now? It’s time.

You get to want to have whatever kind of relationship you choose! You get to want joy and romance and excitement and bliss and comfort and safety and security and a shoulder to lean on.

The one seeking you has been on his own path, learning his own lessons, evolving himself to step into the unique relationship only you two can create together.

What are you doing to be as ready for him as he is for you? 

Click on the link to learn how to make dating a lot more fun! 

Romantic Relationship? Yes I can!


Romantic Relationships – Reasons Why Not


If the only reason you can’t is because you never have

See this sea of roses? It reminds me of what my life is like since I met my boyfriend. 

We met online, and in deference to there being shelter-in-place orders in effect we took it slow. We messaged, we spoke, we video-chatted, we went for a walk around the lake. He said he’d like to see me again and I said yes. And when he asked what I’d like to do on what would be our first official date I mustered all my courage and said … 

There’s this piece of furniture I want to refinish, would you please help me with that?

Not only did he say yes, he showed up with all the tools we’d need and a dozen roses!

And he’s been bringing me flowers ever since.

There was a time in my life when I said, I can’t have the kind of relationship I want because if it was meant to happen it would have by now.

And then I sabotaged every relationship with every man who came even close to being what I wanted. 

I said I can’t so I didn’t. So then I got to be right about it never having happened.

Dating was really, really hard because I made it that way. Eventually I realized my way wasn’t working and I hired a coach who helped me see how I was creating what I said rather than what I wanted. My coach showed me all the things I was doing to stand in the way of my own happiness, and I learned how to kick those habits to the curb and experience the joy I saw other women having.

Do you want to keep being right or do you want to roll in a bed of roses? You really do get to choose! And when you’re ready to create what you want to happen rather than what you say will happen, hiring a coach will get you there much more quickly than you trying to figure it out on your own. Think of me as your GPS for dating! 

If you’re really ready, get on a 20-minute discovery call with me and find out how to get from where you are now to where you want to be:

If the only reason you won’t is because you never did

How much of a risk-taker are you? If I said I was going hot air ballooning or parasailing tomorrow, or to Morocco next month, would you jump right up and say, take me with you! 

I’ve never considered myself much of a risk-taker, especially when it comes to physical activities, although I have gone hot air ballooning and parasailing and when my friend told me she was going to Morocco in a month I heard the words, take me with you! coming out of my mouth before I realized I’d even thought them. And she did.

Morocco was exotic and amazing and ballooning and parasailing were both pure, joyous fun! I checked them off the list on two consecutive birthdays.

That was after the birthday when I got my tattoo. 

For years I wanted a tattoo, and I could never settle on what it would be. I decided and then changed my mind dozens of times. I also wondered where I’d go to get it. Then one day I wandered into a tattoo shop and started talking to this artist who I liked immediately. I liked her work, too, and I walked out with her card and a new determination.

After years of indecision, within a few weeks I knew exactly what I wanted to live with for the rest of my life and I got it done. I could have said I won’t do it. I could have kept looking for the perfect idea for the rest of my life. Instead, I made up my mind and it all came together perfectly. As if it was meant to be … 😉

If you’re not in the relationship you want it’s not because you haven’t found the right person yet. You haven’t found the right person yet because you’re not determined enough to figure out what’s stopping you. Lucky for you, I am an expert at figuring out what’s stopping you!

Let’s get on a free 20-minute video call together so you can discover what’s keeping you from finding him and what to do about it:

You need to have a better reason not to

Whether you’re like I was and think you somehow don’t deserve to have what you desire or you won’t do what you need to do to make it happen, the result is the same – you’re not in the relationship you really, really want. Isn’t it time to figure out why? 

What rational reason is there for you to keep holding yourself back? 

Do you think it will be hard? You do hard things every day.

Do you think it will be painful? You feel the pain of not having a partner now.

Creating the enriched romantic relationship you crave, having a partner who shows up for you in every way you’ve ever wished for and in many ways you’ve never imagined, isn’t hard. It isn’t beyond you. It isn’t the domain of every other woman on the planet except you. And just like my tattoo, finding out how you’re standing in your own way doesn’t have to cause you pain.

When you’re ready to create a different outcome in your dating and relationships than the one you keep getting on your own, DM me or leave a comment so we can talk!

Discover why he’s not here yet and what you can do about it. Click on the link and schedule your free call: