CHANGE. For the world, for the people, for the better.
Are you ready to change?
Have you ever wanted something big, like a promotion or a new career or a husband or a baby, and let something, or many things, stop you from getting it? Have you been ready for your office, your home, your car, your wardrobe, your neighborhood, your income, your relationships, your life to be different – but not been ready for you to change?
This is about your identity; the way you think, feel and see yourself, and by extension, the way others see you. And it’s scary to think about that being different than the way it’s always been. To think about you being different than you’ve always been.
If you’re not meeting your right match in the time you think it ought to have taken, are you wondering what’s wrong with you, or with all the men on the planet?
And in order to meet that right match, have you been trained to ask, “Who do I have to become in order to attract the partner I desire?” My friend, if you’re anything like I was, you probably get pissed off at the thought that you have to change anything at all, and quit dating just to ‘show’ them. (yeah, well, spoiler alert – quitting dating doesn’t get you married any faster)
When you’re ready, here are some questions you ought to be asking –
- Who am I now?
- What do I think about my life?
- How do I feel most of the time?
- How do I show up?
Are you willing to do the work?
This isn’t easy. It’s confronting and will make you feel vulnerable and uncomfortable and is the best thing you’ll ever do for yourself. Once you’ve done the work of facing yourself as you are now and choosing who and how you want to be going forward and are willing to feel all the feels between here and there, you’ll be able to have, do and be anything in life. Anything.
But the doing will look and feel ugly. All the sharp edges you’ve worked so hard to cover over will need to be seen and felt, honed and polished. All the highs will feel totally untethered; all the lows will feel like you’re tethered to the lowest ground. Part of the work will be for you to find your balance between these two extremes and you need to know now that during the process of finding your balance you will over-correct, sometimes too weak, sometimes overly strong –
Keep going, you will find your sweet spot of change!
When you’re ready, here are some more questions you ought to be asking –
- Who will I be if I’m not who I’ve always been?
- Who do I want to be?
- How do I want to show up?
- What do I want to think about my life?
- How do I want to feel most of the time?
This is the work. Doing it will change everything.
Are you able to invest in yourself?
Our priorities are not simply what we think or say they are, our priorities are what we invest our time and money in.
If you say you want to be married and you’re not, but don’t have time to date – and you consistently agree to work late or continually make yourself available to care for the needs of your friends and relatives – then marriage is not a priority.
If you say you want to be married and you’re not, but don’t figure out how to meet and make real connections with the kinds of men you might actually marry, if you will only take free advice from books, the internet or friends – then marriage is not a priority.
This is your life. Your priorities are up to you.
#datingandrelationships #midlifemarriage #datingat50 #marriedat50 #marriedat40 #midlifedating #onlinedating #havemorelove