Make This the Year You Get What You Want

 

 

We’re two weeks in and I’m not going to ask how you’re doing with your resolutions, I’m much more interested in how you’re doing with your wants.

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting; thinking about goals and accomplishments and questioning whether I’m someone who achieves goals or not, and just as I was about to go another round with ‘that voice’ that tells me I don’t ever get sh*t done, something weird happened.

I thought about the 4 months I was a foster motherto an infant. The entire process, from the time I first realized I wanted to experience raising a child in some way, to the time she was transferred to another foster mother, took 4 years.

It was a 4-year process in which I had to decide on an agency, find childcare, take classes, be investigated, become certified, go through a change within the agency, take classes again, be re-investigated, re-certify, wait months until they had a suitable match, and finally got the call! I did it. I didn’t quit.

And I wouldn’t change a thing about how it happened or how long it took, because now I know I can truly do anything and have anything I want.

You see, the word GOAL seems so lofty, so grand, so beyond me that ‘that voice’ (I call her Nellie) tells me I can’t possibly do it.

But when I simply decide that I WANT something …

What do you really, really want?

If I was made for abundance why am I working so hard and settling for less?

Have you been settling for just getting your needs met when your deepest desire is to have your wants fulfilled?

If that’s what you’re craving, it takes expressing, going, growing, expanding, adding, gaining, creating, receiving.

It takes wanting from a sense of having, from a feeling of abundance.

It takes already having, wanting what you have and wanting even more – just because you think you’d enjoy it. It can’t come from wanting but not having or holding on to what you already have for fear of losing it.

Having and expanding is very different from having and holding on or not having and wanting. That’s what makes you think you’re always starting over, always starting from scratch, never gaining momentum, never growing – never receiving.

If you deeply desire a committed relationship with a quality partner, the way to attain it is to take what you know about yourself, your values, your likes and dislikes, your priorities, resilience, ingenuity, sense of humor, forward with you into dating this year.

Each man you choose to date going forward will be a better match, embodying more of the qualities that align with your values.

Each relationship will be richer, fuller, more balanced, more fulfilling, more loving.

Acknowledge, embrace and use what you have and add to it, build upon it, own it. That’s what will get you where you want to go.

It’s not just believing it’s becoming the woman who has what you want.

I can show you how to start where you are and create what you really want.

If you’d really like to take the risk and just don’t know how, here is how I can help:
Click here and schedule your complimentary 20-minute video chat.
In 20 minutes you’ll learn what you need to do to make 2021 the year you create the relationship you desire!

Don’t Be Afraid, Be Curious! If You’re Afraid to Look at It, You Can’t Ever Change It!

 

We are thiiiiiis close to a Brand New Year!

I’ve been taking an inventory, and I want to suggest that you do the same.

But, here’s the thing – you need to do it exactly the way I tell you. Deal? Deal.

Okay, let’s begin:

  • What did you do last year that resulted in the outcome you desired?
  • What did you do last year that you will keep doing until you create the outcome you desire?

That’s it. That’s the whole inventory for now. You know what you did that got you what you want and you know what you did that you will figure out how to do differently.

Oh, I’m sorry, were you thinking I’d leave space in here for you to beat up on yourself?

In this post what you’ll find is the thing you need to move forward.

Curiosity.

As a Life Coach I work with you to guide you forward, help you feel stronger, play bigger, shine brighter, achieve past your wildest hopes and expectations and achieve your desires.

You know why your list of ‘wants’ is so looooong and your list of ‘haves’ is so short?

Because rather than learning from the experiences that haven’t panned out for you in the past, you’ve made them mean something about your ability to create them in the future. Your future.

When you fail to achieve a goal and you judge yourself, say mean things to yourself, beat up on yourself, you lose the lesson from the fail. Inside that fail is a stepping-stone to the win – but you’ll never be able to access it if you don’t look at it and accept it for what it is.

If the thing you’ve always wanted and not quite believed you could achieve is to be in an enriched, romantic relationship with a quality partner you’re going to have to start dating in the smartest way possible, not continuing in the way it hasn’t been working for you. I can help.

Your future is closer than you realize, and you’re going to be grateful you started today.

Having a Hard Time Deciding How to Date During a Pandemic?

 

Are you searching for your forever love? Someone with whom you could happily shelter in place, even without a worldwide pandemic?

Have you been searching for quite some time without success, and are you now wishing things were different and you weren’t feeling so achingly alone?

Because, honestly, after spending so much of my life alone, I’ve thought about what it would be like to be a part of a real partnership. I’ve wondered if I would feel happy in a relationship, feel lighter, feel … love.

What I’ve come to realize, especially after close to a year of being home alone, is that I can’t feel any more love with another person than I do all by myself. And I feel a lot of love all by myself.

Throughout it all I’ve been dating. I downloaded an app and posted a profile and pics and started receiving messages and started responding to messages and started having phone conversations and … chose to meet only 3 different men in person.

I engaged in three socially distanced walks around three separate parks with three different men.

Outside of the fact I’ve never gone on a walk around the park for a first meeting, everything else has been exactly the same for me.

I am very discerning. I read profiles carefully and notice how men present themselves via message or email. And I always have phone conversations before I meet someone in person. Always.

Because sometimes, after a phone conversation I decide to not meet someone in person. That cuts down tremendously on the number of dates I feel were a total waste of time. And by tremendously, I mean 100%.

It’s been a very long time since I’ve returned home froma first meeting thinking I’d wasted my time. Years.

I figured out years ago what works for me when it comes to online dating. And when I say what works I mean not only meeting men who are good matches, I also mean not going on so many useless dates that I feel exhausted and burnt out and decide to quit out of sheer frustration. And I very definitely mean keeping myself safe.

If you’re ready to figure out how to have the enriched romantic relationship you’ve always hoped for and not quite believed you could achieve, I can help.

Because really, now is not only as good a time as any, it’s the only time that’s now.

How Are You Feeling About Being Yourself First? Last? Always?

I want to tell you about the moment I was able to change my life.

Not the moment I wanted to change my life, or the moment my life changed – I want to tell you about the moment I was able to start the journey that would eventually lead me to change my relationships, my friendships, my dating, my work, my spirituality, my life.

Because, honestly, I’d wanted it to change for a very long time. I’d been bored, I’d been sad, I’d been angry, I’d been frustrated, I’d been hysterical, I’d been convinced that if it was supposed to be different it already would be – I’d been it all. For a very long time I wanted no thing more than for my life to be different than it was.

But it couldn’t change simply because I willed it to. That’s suggesting that my life was in some way outside of me and it could move of its own accord. I needed to change it.

I needed to change me.

But, if I changed me that would mean there was something wrong with me, right?

Wrong.

I needed to change me not to make me different, but to make me more of myself. I needed to change my behavior, so that people could see me.

Do you notice how over time you’ve picked up behaviors from other people? You use your best friend’s catchphrases. You tell jokes like your dad. You roll your eyes like your little sister.

You’ve adopted other people’s thoughts too. And these, more than anything else, are hiding the real you from your right match.

Because when you believe that all men are …, or no man is…, or you’re too …, or life’s too …, then you start to behave like all those other women who believe those things – and not like you.

I was out in the world thinking that the problem was me, but nobody could actually see me or hear me.

I had to strip away the layers of other people’s behaviors and get down to me.

You do, too. And if you don’t know how, I can help.

Click here and schedule your private, 20 minute video coaching session.

 

 

Risk vs. Reward. The Choice isn’t as Obvious as You Like to Think.

 

What does it mean to risk the usual and to settle for the ordinary?

To me it means give up what is familiar for something that could be phenomenal. Familiar; not extraordinary or spectacular. Not even ‘good.’ Just … ordinary.

That doesn’t sound like much of a risk, does it? I mean, in theory, who wouldn’t be willing to give up something ordinary if they would be getting something phenomenal in return?

But us humans just don’t work that way, do we? I mean, when you first read that part about getting something phenomenal in return didn’t you actually think, “There’s no guarantee that would happen.”

I want to offer you something that will change your outcomes when it comes to dating and creating the relationship you desire deep down inside – the reason you’re so quick to think a negative thought was to keep you safe in case of attack from a saber-tooth tiger. And that works much better now when you’re still wired to consider absolutely everything as a mortal risk to your well-being.

That line of reasoning loves nothing better than to have you home, safe and snug in the cave so you can curl up with a good book or the latest new release from Netflix. But the newest release is actually pretty ordinary, no matter how they spin it.

It’s certainly more ordinary than the joy, the love, the passion you dream of.

So, the risk is, you do something unusual that might not get you exactly what you want, like start using a dating app, even though you might not meet your husband on the first date or strike up a conversation in the market with the attractive man wearing the vintage movie poster face mask – even though he might not turn out to be your type.

But what might be the reason for you to stay with Netflix on Saturday night? Well, think about what it is you’re getting out of it, because you are getting something out of it. It’s comfortable, and in this ever-changing world right now, that’s no small thing. You know exactly what to expect and you’ll get it, and we love to have our expectations met! There’s also the fact that you’ll expend much less energy on the same old, and that’s go to be worth something, right?

Just think! If your risk actually pays off the reward could be finding yourself in a relationship with a real, live man who laughs at all your jokes and thinks your complete set of vintage Tupperware is fascinating. Who wouldn’t want that?

And if what you want is to truly, for the first time in your life, Have Fun Dating, I can show you how a simple shift can make a big impact!

Doesn’t that sound better than what you’re doing now, which is, not having fun dating?

 Risk vs. Reward. The Choice isn’t as Obvious as You Like to Think.

 Come find out how on this week’s Live! And, oh, BTW – we’re moving to Saturdays at 10am pacific, 1pm eastern, starting this Small-Business Saturday, November 28th!

Saturday, November 28th at 10AM pacific, 1pm eastern
https://www.facebook.com/HaveMoreLove/

#dating #romance #relationship #havemorelove

Friday the 13th is Just Around the Corner. Are You Going to Hide, or Embrace Your Heart and Soul and Deepest Desires and Finally Feel Lucky in Love?

When I was little I wondered why Friday the 13th was unlucky. It didn’t seem to make sense that there could be a day in a year that could cause havoc and harm in and of itself. Doesn’t it seem more likely that the havoc and harm comes from people acting irrationally and irresponsibly because they’re scared of what they think might happen?

I can understand that if you’d been taught something as a child you would believe it, but at some point you grow up and get to choose to believe what you want.

And you also get to choose to have what you want. Really.

Right now, in this very moment, do you have what you want in life?

Do you have the home, the career, the love that you dream of and the peace and the joy that you crave?

Now that you know you can, would you like to? Imagine that you are living in that house, running that business, walking hand in hand with that right man … what would that mean to you? I know what it meant to me – everything.

I can hear you now … how?

By changing how you’re thinking.

How you think created everything you currently have and learning how to manage your thoughts will create what you ultimately want – and the good news is, it’s the one thing in the world you actually have complete control over!

What would it be worth to you to find out exactly how you can manage your thinking to create the life you want? Everything in my life changed for the better when I learned how to manage my thoughts. I’m happy now, every day. If that sounds good to you, come find out the thing you need to know to have the thing you want to have.

And if what you want is to Have Fun Dating, I can show you how a simple shift can make a big impact!

Doesn’t that sound better than what you’re doing now, which is, not having fun dating?

 Friday the 13th is Just Around the Corner. Are You Going to Hide, or Embrace Your Heart and Soul and Deepest Desires and Finally Feel Lucky in Love?

Come find out how on this week’s Live!

Friday, November 13th at 2PM pacific, 5pm eastern
https://www.facebook.com/HaveMoreLove/

#dating #romance #relationship #havemorelove

Do You Need to Change Your Physical Circumstances to Have Everything Your Heart, Your Mind and Your Soul Desire? (Spoiler Alert – NO!)

I have a friend who thinks I’m nicer than she is. She’s told me that a couple of times when we’ve been discussing men. I don’t think it’s true.

This exchange usually takes place when we’ve been discussing what a man said or did and she’s adamant it’s because he intentionally wanted to cause some type of heartache. I’m equally adamant that since we don’t know for sure, it could just as well be true that he might have had no nefarious intention at all.

I’ve told her that I’m not nicer than her, I simply go out into the world looking for different evidence than she does.

I believe that men are people, and all people are inherently good, so I go out into the world looking for evidence to support my belief, and evidence ultimately means – the way I interpret the circumstances around me.

Right in this moment you have belief systems in place. You might have taken on the beliefs of people around you, maybe you created yours for yourself, and as you go about your day you interpret what you see in a way that will support what you already believe.

In other words, you aren’t believing what you see, you are seeing what you already believe. I don’t think men are inherently good because I meet more nice ones than you do, I meet more nice ones than you do because I already believe they exist. And it’s also about interpretation.

I meet all the same men you do, and some of the ones you don’t think are nice are ones I think are very nice. And it’s not because my standards are lower than yours.

It’s because my sights – and my thoughts – are set higher.

What if simply changing the way you’re seeing your world is the key to you creating the enriched romantic relationship you desire?

What would it be worth to you to find out how you’ve been unconsciously creating what you’ve got now and how you can consciously start to Have Fun Dating!

Doesn’t that sound better than NOT having fun dating? 😉

Do You Need to Change Your Physical Circumstances to Have Everything Your Heart, Your Mind and Your Soul Desire? (Spoiler Alert – NO!)

Come find out on this week’s Live! Friday, October 23 at 2PM pacific
https://www.facebook.com/HaveMoreLove/

#dating #romance #relationship #havemorelove