Thrive in Love! Step 3, Voila!

December 27, 2021December 24, 2021Love and Marriage, Manifestation, Mindset

relationships, dating, love, romance, manifesting, mindset, marriage

You’re in the home stretch! You’ve been reveling in what you created in the last year and learning how to enable the coming one to deliver what you most desire! The way to do that is use what you’ve learned for the good of your future relationship.

This part of the 3-step process, adapted from Marie Forleo’s Year in Review is when you get to decide what you no longer need to carry with you. See the thing that has been stopping you from creating the enriched romantic relationship you truly desire with the high-quality man you deserve – and let it go!

Marie provides the Q’s, I create the structure for you to take it into the realm of dating so you can discover your most useful A’s.

Ready? Set? GO!

1) What is one limiting story you’re going to let go of?

What do you believe, how do you behave, what has happened in the past? Is carrying forward your beliefs, behaviors, and history useful to you? You see it as a part of you, something so familiar it’s like your most comfy pair of slippers. They’re fabulous companions while walking the floors on a cold winter’s night but are comfy slippers useful when you set out to hike Mount Everest? No.

What if you’re stuck because there’s something you decided long ago that you ought to do and just haven’t?

Continuing to believe you ought to have or do the thing you wanted 10 years ago is just as limiting as continuing to do the thing that no longer serves your desires now.

That’s why you need this process – to make it apparent to you that if you want to create a different outcome in dating, relationships, and love, you have to be willing to be different than the way you’ve been single.

Me? This is the year I stop thinking I ought to have already learned how to speak French. That’s it, I’m done. Why? Because that thought “I should have done this already” keeps cropping up in every other area of my life and manifests as a constant chorus of, “what’s wrong with me, I’m lazy, if I haven’t already I never will…”

2) How can you relate it to romantic relationships?

Would you wear a dress on a date that you loved when you bought it ten years ago, even if it doesn’t fit you well now? Then why would you keep thinking a thought or displaying a behavior that doesn’t suit who you are or help you achieve what you want now?

Have you had an experience in your past where someone you trusted turned out to be very different from the way you thought he was and ever since then you don’t trust men?

If you believe you can’t trust men, and you believe trusting them will hurt you, and you believe the problem is outside of you – it’s the men – you won’t be able to create a different result because you will continue to act in ways you think protect you.

The thing is, though, relationships consist of connection between two people, and true connection involves intimacy, and intimacy is attained through vulnerability on both your parts, and to feel vulnerable you’re going to have to trust – yourself and him.

Refusing to trust men doesn’t keep you safe, it keeps you separate, and staying separate is not the route to love and marriage.

3) How can you break this pattern that’s keeping you from love?

Whether it’s a belief or a behavior, once you’ve left it by the side of your relationship road you’ll see how it was getting in your way because you’ll begin to feel a sense of ease around dating and all your relationships!

It’s taken me a long time to fully understand that whether the thing is meeting a new man or learning a new skill, if I believe I ought to already know how to be perfect with it, or I ought to have already done it that doesn’t make me want to run toward it, it makes me want to run away.

If you’re someone who has never dated, how can you enjoy yourself if you believe you ought to already have been in a relationship? If you’ve never sustained a relationship past the first few dates, how can you know how to nurture your love into 6 months, or 12 or more? You can’t and telling yourself that “everyone else does” isn’t the way to create self-confidence.

Whether you follow the words of Rumi and “Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop” or Elsa and, “Let it go!” try it, what do you have to lose?

If that thought or thing really is like an old friend and you miss it too much, you can always pick it up again where you left off.

A happy, safe, peaceful New Year to you! ❤️

The gift of love doesn’t come in a box!

December 20, 2021Manifestation, Mindset

We’re living in a time of so much possibility and opportunity. And it’s your time to create the romantic transformation in your life that you so deeply desire.

You don’t want just an average guy and an ordinary relationship, so you know it’s not about setting resolutions and then waiting and hoping.

To create your best life, you need to set yourself up to manifest an enriched romantic relationship with a high-quality man – the kind you want and deserve. That takes a process, and I’ve adapted mine from Marie Forleo’s Year in Review. She provided the original 3 Q’s, and for your richest results, I’ve expanded on them for greater insight into your real A’s.

Let’s continue with a deep dive into the second question. Whether you are working each step week by week or waiting to sit down and do it all together, for optimum enjoyment create an environment that you find lovely and luxurious and feeds your imagination and soul.

1) What mistakes did I make that taught me something?

The most important part of that question is – THAT TAUGHT ME SOMETHING. Really. This is not an opportunity to become fixated on what didn’t go per your plan and beat yourself up over it.

One of the most powerful ways to create positive change in your life is to have a firm grasp on how you arrived at the point you’re at now – that’s how you’ll learn what you need to do.

When you try to change a situation without knowing which of your actions are or aren’t creating your desired results, you might be changing something that is working, and that’s just counter-productive.

After you’ve made a list of the experiences that carried a lesson, decide which one has the most fuel for you to work from right now and ask – what is one mistake I made and the lesson I learned?

2) How can you relate it to romantic relationships?

Know one mistake you made this past year and the lesson you learned from it? Now take it and apply it to a romantic situation. Here’s how:

I was co-hosting a series of workshops with another coach who told me she wanted to cut back on them to make room for other things. She never said she wanted to stop. There were options to keep them going, but at some point, I decided that she didn’t want to do them anymore.

I started to pull back. In the last workshop I didn’t announce the one that was coming up. I had a thought about something she’d said and started to act in opposition to the outcome I wanted. The upshot was the workshop series ended because of me.

I can’t tell you how many times in budding romantic relationships I created this outcome. A man would say something that I decided meant he didn’t really want to be with me, and I started to act in ways that ended the possibility of going forward.

What about you? What assumptions are you making, actions are you taking, that are creating the polar opposite outcome in your romantic relationships from the one you desire?

How are you keeping yourself from love?

3) How can you break this pattern that’s keeping you from love?

The first step to not repeating your past is owning your present. Don’t shy away from seeing what is really happening and the part you play in it.

The patterns you experience in your life aren’t originating in the men you meet or the situations you encounter. Your patterns don’t come from outside yourself, they come from you repeating your old thoughts that have become beliefs, and then acting on those beliefs.

Here’s your gift – it’s very simple to change the things that need to change to ensure you create the outcomes you desire! Since nothing is coming from outside yourself, all of this is well within your control.

You have the ability to create the enriched romantic relationship, the marriage, the family – the joy – you really, really want!

Wrap up the gift to manifest love!

November 22, 2021November 20, 2021Manifestation

wrap up the gift of love, manifest love, dating, relationships, marriage, romance, mindset

You’ve created success in all the other areas of your life so you know it’s not magic that makes anything happen, it’s the proper use of the best tools. With the right mental and emotional foundation you’ll manifest your heart’s desire, whether a long-term monogamous commitment or marriage.

Over the past three weeks I’ve shared the foundational steps necessary to manifest the enriched romantic relationship you want with, not just any man, your rightest match.

Time to take the thoughtful, emotional groundwork you’ve developed in your head and your heart and put it into action!

1) When the chance comes, grab the love!

You don’t stay at the top of your business game by letting opportunities pass you by, so apply the same technique to your dating game – know when a great option might be presenting itself and take a chance!

Dating isn’t a punishment, it’s a process through which you learn everything you need to know about yourself and the relationship you want. It’s the road you take to get to your destination. Please remember this if you don’t meet Mr. Right the first time out.

Are you waiting to meet a man “organically?” Meaning – are you waiting for a friend to introduce you to her boyfriend’s cousin or brother’s office mate? I can count the number of times on one hand that I’ve been set up, and none of those ever led to a second date. You might not want to hear this, but if you want a romantic relationship sooner rather than later, you’re going to have to be more proactive in the process.

The majority of people who are in relationships right now have engaged in some type of online dating. Think of it this way, if you want to cook food you go to the place most likely to have a huge selection – the supermarket. If you want to meet men to date you go to the place most likely to have a huge selection – a dating site or app.

You may ask, do I have to contact men first? Only if you want to feel the power of choosing rather than waiting to be chosen.

Do I have to ask men out? No. You can if you want, but you don’t have to.

Oh, so I don’t have to make the first move? Well, yes, in a way you do – you have to post a fabulous profile and great pictures. If you don’t, how will your rightest match know you’re looking for him and be able to find you?

2) Nature WILL take its course toward love!

Does writing about yourself and posting pictures and engaging in conversations with men you’ve never before met seem like a lot more action than you’re used to taking in pursuit of romance? Great! What better way to get different results than you ever have before than by taking different actions than you ever have before?

When you feel good about yourself and know what you bring to a relationship, you will naturally want to make use of every opportunity. With a higher degree of self-confidence you’ll be more likely to take risks because you’ll be better able to see the grand potential in meeting many different types of men and having a lot of different dating experiences.

Dating will actually be fun!

See a man who kind of piques your interest, but he’s not exactly your type? Excellent! He’s exactly the one you ought to message to say hello.

Don’t know what to say to a man? Tell him you’re intrigued and why. Mention something you liked in his profile, that’s a great conversation starter.

Have trouble getting men to engage in conversations with you? Share something about yourself first, mention something funny that happened that day, ask him a question, ask for advice.

And always engage like the kind of person you’d be happy to respond to.

3) Expectation hastens your progress toward your right love!

This is crucial in your pursuit of an enriched romantic partnership – have unwavering faith and trust in the outcome you desire.

There’s no room for doubt or disbelief when you are in the midst of manifestation – and no second-guessing. Now, that doesn’t mean you never have a moment of wondering if it will really turn out different this time and for heaven’s sake, when? … you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t.

What it does mean is, in those moments you take hold of yourself and turn your thoughts back to persistent, consistent trust in your ability to receive what your Source has in store for you.

You are unique and there are people, events, experiences meant only for you personally. Expectation sets the pace of whatever outcome you imagine, so expect good and know your relationship will come at its right time – at the time it’s perfect for you!

This work will flow like a river when you can allow yourself to let go of resistance, lose your fear, and stop trying to control the outcome, so your job is to identify the thoughts that are holding you back and let them go. You’ll know you’ve done it because everything will feel brand new to you!

Keep Going! 3 more ways to manifest love!

November 15, 2021November 10, 2021Manifestation

manifesting, romance, dating, marriage, love, relationships

You’re a business rock star! How’d you build your success? Tenacity, determination and every degree necessary – even if your diploma is from the school of hard knocks. Just like a house built on sand won’t stand firm in a high wind, if you haven’t done your deeply personal foundational work, the actions you take in dating have nothing to hold fast to.

Even if you feel like you’ve already done everything possible, there is always the opportunity to do something in a different way. Sometimes that way is to build a rock-solid foundation for your self-perception.

Ready to launch into the third phase of your manifesting journey?

1) Elevate your perception of your self worth and love your outcome!

You may have heard that you attract men on your same energetic level and may think that means if men don’t value you that there’s a problem. If they don’t act the way you think you deserve you may blame them or question yourself, your desirability, your lovability.

The truth is, you attract all kinds of men, but the ones you choose to engage with are men on your level of belief and self-perception.

Although you might love yourself, your belief in yourself evidenced by your active, everyday perception of yourself and your lovability might not be on the level necessary to act as a beacon to the dating universe.

To put it bluntly, you might not be treating yourself as well as you could. You might not be treating yourself as well as you’d like a man to treat you, and it’s very true that we teach people how to treat us. Take this simple test.

How do you talk to yourself when you’ve made a mistake?

The A to this Q will tell you everything you need to know about your self-love vs. your self-perception.

If you don’t treat yourself with the level of kindness and compassion you’d expect from another person, especially your romantic partner, it’s time to actively elevate your self-perception. You’ll start to treat yourself better, and you’ll find more men treating you better too!

2) Increase your right belief, manifest your right love

The only way to elevate and expand your perception of yourself is to be onto yourself – notice when you’re not doing it well and correct yourself in the moment. Show yourself compassion, have patience, speak kindly, and pretty soon it will become a habit.

Own your absolute, undeniable lovability and become the woman who has your right love in your every waking hour.

How? Cultivate different beliefs. Think highly of yourself, not in an egotistical way, in a loving and appreciative way. Having an undue sense of your self-importance is not really thinking highly of yourself at all; it’s only a cover for insecurity.

Teach yourself to appreciate the things about you that others do. And perhaps even more important, teach yourself to show yourself the same compassion and empathy in trying moments that you show to people you love.

Next time you make a mistake, before you tear yourself down, remind yourself that you are one of the people you love, speak as kindly to yourself as possible, have empathy for yourself, bring yourself some flowers.

Believe the best about yourself and your chances of creating the romantic partnership you desire. And in moments of doubt, believe that you can believe.

3) When you create your best love, allow it to stay

What happens when you meet a man to whom you are very attracted, who sparks something in you that hasn’t been ignited in a long, long time, and he treats you exactly the way you’ve always wanted someone to treat you?

What happens if he brings you flowers, gives you compliments, buys you dinner and gifts, tells you how beautiful you are, and says he is actually seeking the woman with whom he will fall in love and get married?

Do you feel excited or suspicious? Do you accept him with open arms, or look for every possible fault? Do you believe him or wonder, what’s the catch? Do you practice self-care or self-sabotage?

Studies show that winners of huge lottery payouts are bankrupt or in severe financial distress within 3-5 years. Why? Because they have not raised their level of belief. Mentally they have not become the person who can have a healthy, supportive partnership with that amount of money, so off it goes.

Elevate your own belief system and your perception of yourself. Become the woman who has the exact relationship you desire – before he appears. Do it now, because if you don’t your rightest match may arrive, and just as quickly he may go.

#havemorelove #datingandrelationships #midlifemarriage #datingat50 #marriedat50 #marriedat40 #midlifedating #onlinedating #datingat40 #midlifelove

On a roll! 3 more ways to manifest love!

November 8, 2021November 8, 2021Manifestation

dating, love, romance, marriage, manifesting

It’s true; being grateful for all the things you already have while being specific about what you desire is integral to manifesting, and so is the second step. Some people call it not being attached to the outcome, I call it – Surrender!

It’s counterintuitive, isn’t it? How can you be specific about what you want to manifest while not being attached to the outcome?

I believe that in the same way expressing gratitude for what you already have is the key to unlocking more, better, grander attainments, trusting it will be delivered in its right form is what will enable you to see it and accept it when it comes, because it may not look the way you want it to.

Let’s step into the second phase of your manifesting journey.

1) To manifest the love you want embrace what truly creates

No matter how much you dream, envision or plan for yourself, the view from the ground is always limited. God (the Universe, Source, The Eternal, etc.) has an overarching, expansive, unlimited magnificent view of all your qualities, desires, hopes, abilities, expectations and your ultimate purpose.

When you are attached to the way a man must be; his looks, height, hair color, title, whatever you’ve believed to be important, you may miss out on seeing the one who is truly meant for only you.

Allow that your Source is the true Creator and create space for your right match to step into. Rather than looking only for the things you think you want, be open and allow yourself to see a man for who he is and be surprised and delighted by his best qualities.

Once you’ve made that space, take the most difficult and yet vital action possible – release resistance, surrender and trust that the relationship that serves your highest and best good is in process of being made manifest – real – to you both.

2) You’re getting exactly what you need to manifest the love you want

Think there’s a problem because your romantic pathway has been strewn with everything from pebbles to potholes and there’s no end in sight?

Contrary to popular belief, dating isn’t a punishment, it’s a process through which you learn who you are, what you want and how to become the woman you want to be in relationship with your ultimate romantic partner.

Trust that your Source is giving you what you need in each moment – even if they are things you don’t necessarily want. See each stone strewn on your path not as a hurdle, but as a step to elevate you.

For example, my boyfriend and I have very different approaches to religion and spirituality – although he does have his (that’s high on my EQ list).

I spent some time thinking we just weren’t well-suited to each other because of these differences, although I’ve evolved to realize the differences between us give me an ever-present lens through which to evaluate and recommit to my own beliefs, while accepting and allowing him to have his own.

Think about this – the higher you climb and the more elevated your understanding becomes while dating, the less hard work you’ll need to do when you finally meet your match!

3) What is yours in love cannot go to anyone else!

What is rightfully yours cannot go to another, and yet …

If you’re so limited in the scope of what you want, and discount anything outside its bounds, your right match might slip past. Don’t have your eye so focused on the ultimate prize that you aren’t surprised and delighted with the expansive view along the way. Enjoy the unfoldment, your elevation to each new level of understanding and be ready to have the most enjoyable, healthy, loving romantic partnership possible.

It’s not happening fast enough for your taste? Unfoldment moves in accord with divine timing, not yours or anyone else’s. Nothing has gone wrong here.

Manifesting your first-class relationship isn’t about getting to the finish line quickly. It’s not about living from event to event, it’s about living in the experiences that unfold along the way. That’s what life is! If you truly do this you can’t possibly miss any person, place or portion of the world meant for you.

#havemorelove #datingandrelationships #midlifemarriage #datingat50 #marriedat50 #marriedat40 #midlifedating #onlinedating #datingat40 #midlifelove

Gratitude for Manifesting Sustaining Love – Step 1

November 1, 2021Manifestation, Mindset

manifesting, romance, love, marriage, relationships, dating, gratitude

Manifesting Love Like a Boss

Have you ever seen a performance that hooked you in? An actor breathed life into a character, held you spellbound and took you for a ride through a story you got invested in? That is the power of specificity and if it makes that much of a difference to a character on screen, imagine what it can do for you in real life!

The difference between women who are powerful, consistent, blessed manifestors and those who believe love isn’t meant for them is being grateful for what they already have and being specific about what they want to create more of.

1) Own who you are and what you’ve already got to manifest the love you want

What are your values? What are your priorities? Who do you want to be in this relationship? How do you want to show up in it?

Look at every aspect of your life – your business side, family relationships, friendships, your spiritual journey, your home, your car, your hobbies – inventory, acknowledge and show gratitude for everything that you already have received and you will be that much more able to receive even more in the form of romance.

And always, always, always choose yourself first and feel gratitude for all you already have. This is what enables you to truly manifest whatever you desire, this is what separates consistent manifestors from women who think love isn’t for them – you must operate from a position of having rather than lacking. You are adding to your already full, luscious life, not scraping by with crumbs.

Be your own right match first!

2) Decide/Choose/Align with your right match to manifest the love you want

Now that you’ve done the work to understand your values and priorities, and you know how you want to be in this world, expand your thinking to encompass the relationship itself.

What kind of romantic relationship do you want? Do you want to be married? Do you want to have an equal partnership where each of you carries a similar load of responsibilities? Do you want adventure or consistency?

Now think about how you want to live. Do you crave a quiet home or a hub of activity? Like to be planted and take root in one place, or does life on the road have a quirky appeal?

Now, and only now are you ready to think about him. What qualities in a man will be in best alignment with your values? What kind of lifestyle will he live? How does he move through the world and how do his values support yours and vice versa?

Why are you doing all this work before you’ve even met him? Because you don’t want just any man, just any relationship, just any marriage – you want the unique love that is perfect for you.

3) Commit to yourself and ask for the love you desire!

Now that you’ve decided exactly what it is that you want more of, make the commitment to yourself that you want a man to make to you – write it down.

Take a pen or a colored pencil or a crayon – whatever sparks joy in you – and commit it to a piece of paper – a notebook or journal is even better – it doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive, only substantive and something that will last, that you will get access to and not lose under a pile of papers.

And once you’ve written it down, read it out loud to yourself, even if you only start with a whisper and build up louder from there. Ask God or the Universe or whatever Source you believe in for this enriched romantic relationship with your right match.

There’s power in wanting, and that’s the power that has really been taken from women over all these centuries. We’ve been sold a pack of lies about needing to be selfless at all times, always putting others ahead of ourselves. We’ve had our wanting taken from us publicly, and yet we still want internally – because humans want, we desire, we need.

Acknowledge and ask for what you want and remember this key – be grateful for what you already have and want more, want in addition to, want high, further, deeper.

There’s power in asking for what you want. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. When you can ask you can receive!

This is the first step in manifesting the romantic relationship you want.

#havemorelove #datingandrelationships #midlifemarriage #datingat50 #marriedat50 #marriedat40 #midlifedating #onlinedating #datingat40 #midlifelove