Want to achieve your desired result? Learn how to manage emotions.
Emotions or feelings – I sometimes use the two words interchangeably.
Please notice I didn’t say to master emotions. Or manipulate them. Or ignore them. We have emotions because we are people. I’m not sure when some people decided that we ought never to feel our feelings, but I’ve made an observation and I’d love to know what you think –
Some people are vocally opposed to showing emotions, yet they often belittle, insult and bully others. They act out in anger.
Others think that they ought to only ever feel happy in life and if they experience any ‘negative’ emotion they think something has gone terribly wrong. They’re so busy thinking that something is wrong they aren’t feeling happy.
Living, breathing species have feelings, experience emotions. Think about why you want to be in a romantic relationship; it’s probably because of how you think you’ll feel when you’re in it. If you envision being cherished – how will that feel? How will it feel to be respected, included and loved? If you want to live your best, most fulfilling life and experience fulfilling romantic relationships feeling all your feelings is the only way to go!
Why shouldn’t I feel happy all the time?
Well, you could … but think about what that means functionally. Do you really want to feel happy when you don’t get a job you want or someone does something unethical or someone you love passes away?
Chances are, you’ll want to feel disappointed or angry or sad. There will always be things in our lives about which happiness would feel out of sync. It doesn’t seem possible that as humans having a life full experience we could truly feel, well, happy, all the time. So what’s the alternative?
If you want to make a change and you just don’t know how to start please schedule a time for us to speak. https://lenaecoachsession.as.me/
Imagine how you will feel and embrace it.
The problem isn’t necessarily feeling disappointed or angry or sad, the problem is that you think it will be a huge problem. You think that feeling any of those ‘negative’ emotions will be so uncomfortable that you won’t be able to bear it.
There’s a phrase, sadness is a part of life but suffering is optional. Your belief that feeling a particular feeling will be unbearable is what is causing you to suffer. Truly – think about this – you aren’t feeling the feeling, and yet you are suffering.
Part of the reason is that by not embracing the feeling that might come later you are causing yourself other ‘negative’ feelings now. Think about it – if you don’t want to risk feeling disappointed if a relationship with a man you really like doesn’t work out you may hide and not even attempt to engage with any men at all.
Something resonating with you but you’re feeling weird about taking action? Click on this link to schedule your 20-minute free call with me. https://lenaecoachsession.as.me/
I promise you this.
That’s only one of the reasons to embrace, move toward what you perceive as a negative’ feeling. Another is because you associate that feeling with suffering you avoid anything that you think will make you feel that. So you stay in your little safety zone of comfort and you don’t change, you don’t grow – you don’t start a new business or a new, healthier eating plan – or create the enriched romantic relationship you truly desire.
Are you willing to take one small step to propel yourself into the loving partnership you desire?