Do More for You!

 

You tell yourself every single day that you could do so much more than you do.

Why don’t you?

I’m not talking about the myriad tasks that you make time to do for others, the things that clutter your calendar and your thoughts and leave you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. I mean the things you really want to be doing like dating, for instance.

Here’s one thing you can do for yourself that is quick and very effective:

Take 5 minutes every day and clear out all the thoughts in your head. Just sit down with a piece of paper, a journal, or the back of an envelope and a pen, a crayon or a lipstick, and whatever you’re thinking, just get it out onto the paper.

I’m willing to bet you’ll discover some thoughts you don’t even realize you’re thinking, like; people will laugh if I say I’m dating, nobody I’d want is going to want to date somebody like me, all the men my age want much younger women, if it hasn’t happened by now it never will, I’m too old for this.

All of these thoughts about how you can’t date are keeping you from dating! And they’re all lies. But here’s the biggest lie of all and it’s the one that’s really crushing your chances of finding the love you have wanted for a long time – I don’t even think I want to do this anymore.

When you’re aware of what you really think of your chances of fulfilling your dream and see that you’ve convinced yourself you don’t even want it, you’ll realize why it is that you always make the choice to do things for others. Because in all honesty, if I had the thoughts about my relationship chances that you have about yours, I wouldn’t be in my current relationship.

The truth is – I used to have the same thoughts you do, and they created the same results – I wasn’t dating. I was happy. I was living a good life. A good life, not a rich one. I’ve learned how to think thoughts that create feelings that lead me to take the actions that have changed my life, and I can help you do the same.

#havemorelove #havefundating #lovedating #singleandspiritual #lovemakeovers #datingandrelationships #onlinedating #midlifedating

Provide For Your Own Needs

I’m in a still-new relationship with a man who is not shy about telling me how wonderful he thinks I am, and how much he wants us to spend a lot of time together and planning all the adventures he wants us to have together. Literally planning, like, telling me we ought to sit down and make a list of things we’d like to do and places we’d like to go.

Did I mention he thinks I’m wonderful and wants to spend as much time with me as possible?

There is a real, live, high-quality man saying all the things to me that I’ve always wanted a man to say. Did I feel appreciated? Reassured? Loved? In the moment I felt nervous.

Suddenly I was hearing the words I’d always wanted to hear, and I didn’t feel any of the feelings I’d thought I would. This is a topic I will expand upon another time.

For now, I’ll tell you that I didn’t feel appreciated, reassured or loved because I already feel those feelings every day and I know they have nothing to do with a man – no matter who he is.

My feeling the feelings I want to feel only has to do with my thoughts about myself and how I’ve learned to appreciate, reassure and love myself.

If you want to meet your right match, and you’ve done everything you know how to do, I have a solution for you. Let’s get on a video call; you tell me what you think about yourself, about dating, about your chances of meeting a high-quality man – and then I’ll tell you exactly what you can do to create the relationship you desire.

#havemorelove

Why Do You Seek What You Need From Others?

 

Do you know who started the rumor that other people are responsible for our feelings?

Probably the same person who thought it was a good idea for all of us to spend our entire lives trying to get 7 billion people to change so that we can feel better.

You know that getting your needs met is not about getting a man to do things for you, because you’ve tried that before. Men have called you first thing in the morning. They’ve txted you late at night. Perhaps a man may even have said he loved you. Was any of it satisfying? No.

Because you don’t need him to do the things, you need to feel the feelings, and …

Your feelings are not dependent on what a man does, they’re dependent on what you think about what he does. That means that a man could call or txt or tell you he loves you and it might not mean a thing to you. Or he could do none of those things and you could still feel appreciated, reassured or loved.

Your experience of a relationship comes from your thoughts, not your partner’s actions. If you want to feel appreciated you can, even if he doesn’t call. If you want to feel reassured, you can do that, too, even if he doesn’t message you. And if you want to feel loved? Yup, that is also totally within your control. As a matter of fact, not only is it within your ability to create, it is exclusively within your ability – not anybody else’s.

I’ll be right here, so when you’re ready to have your needs met and you can’t figure out how for yourself, dm me!

#havemorelove

What Do You Really Need?

Why do you want to be in a romantic relationship? If you say it’s so you’ll have a partner to do things with, do things for you, or do things for, I want you to ask yourself why.

Because the answer isn’t just so you’ll have a partner to do things with, do things for you or do things for.

You don’t want things simply to have them. Like everything else that people do, you want things because of how you think having them will make you feel.

Think back to the things you’ve wanted men to do for you – “Call me first thing in the morning. Message me last thing at night. Tell me you love me.”

Perhaps you felt appreciated when he called. Reassured when he sent a txt. Loved when he said he loved you.

Those feelings came from what you made those actions mean. If what you need is to feel appreciated or reassured or loved those feelings have nothing to do with a phone call, a txt or a sentence. They have everything to do with the significance you assign to them.

The significance you assign… your thought about what he did or said.

So, what do you really need? Not, what do your friends say they need. Not, what does your cousin say you deserve. Not, what does that book of rules say you ought to ask for – what do you really need?

If you want to ensure that your needs are met, first be very clear with yourself about exactly what it is that you are seeking. That’s the absolute first step in getting it.

The second step is knowing what to do with your answer.

When you’re ready to get your true needs met and you don’t know how to do that on your own, I’ll be right here.

#havemorelove

#havefundating

#lovedating

#lovemakeovers

#datingandrelationships

#onlinedating

#midlifedating

Stop Waiting Start Having

 

What are you saying? I’m living a full life; I have family and friends and my work and all the nice things my hard work allows me. I’m not waiting for anything!

I have a beautiful home, but of course it’s just a condo. I can’t have a house until I’m married, right?

I drive a nice car, although I do wish I was a passenger in someone else’s more frequently. And had someone who would take care of the maintenance on his and mine.

I do want to date, but I’m way too focused on my work right now, although of course I’ll make time to be in a relationship, because that’s what’s really important to me and I know I’m going to do it 100%, just like I do everything else!

What does it really mean to become the woman who has the relationship you want in order to have it? It means owning your home mentally as well as financially right now, whether it’s a condo, townhome or house. It means acknowledging all the men in your life now, including your dad, brother, handy man or mechanic.

What it means most of all is understanding that if you don’t make room for your relationship now time won’t suddenly manifest later.

Stop waiting to have the love you want. It’s the only way to have the love you want.

If you want to meet your right match, and you’ve done everything you know how to do, I have a solution for you! Let’s get on a video call; you tell me the reason you think it hasn’t happened yet, and I’ll tell you what is really holding you back. I promise, it isn’t what you think.  DM me!

#havemorelove

Do You Want To Be Happy?

 

If you crave a romantic partnership with your absolute soulmate it’s because you think you’ll feel cherished, desired, loved. Better than that, you think you’ll feel happy! Okay, you will feel happy … at times. But not … all the time.

It’s not the person or even the relationship that will make you feel happy, it’s the thoughts you have about it. So even if you marry the person you’ve been dreaming of for decades, if you don’t create loving thoughts for yourself about him and your relationship with him, you won’t feel loved or loving.

Thoughts and feelings lead to your actions and actions are what create your outcomes. So, it’s not the thing you create that will lead to your thoughts about it, it’s your thoughts about it that will put you on track to create it, or not.

Think thoughts like, Dating is hard. No men want committed relationships. No men want a woman my age. I have to lose 10 pounds before I can meet someone.

You’re likely to feel – angry, frustrated, hurt and those feelings are going to fuel you taking actions like … staying in bed all day, complaining, bingeing (whether it’s Netflix, ice cream, alcohol or shopping) quitting dating altogether.

Doesn’t seem in the least productive.

Think thoughts like, I can’t wait to meet my forever love! I am so excited to see who’s online today! That was such a lovely conversation we had last night! That man is very interesting! I had so much fun talking to him on the phone I can’t wait until we meet in person!

Then you’ll be much more likely to have feelings like – excitement, anticipation, curiosity and joy and those feelings are very likely to fuel actions like going online, writing an engaging profile, posting great pictures, finding men’s pictures and profiles attractive, engaging in fun messaging and conversations, meeting for safe dates, creating connections and ultimately choosing to engage in a committed relationship.

All things considered, which would you choose?

I’ll be right here, so when you’ve come to your conclusion, contact me!

 

#havemorelove

 

What Are You Waiting For?

 

Do you find yourself consumed with thoughts about time? Do you believe there’s not enough of it? Do you hurry from one task to another not allowing yourself even a moment to catch your breath, and then get to the end of the day and think you haven’t accomplished anything?

What are you waiting for?

Wait, what?

If you are not living with a consistent sense that there is good in your life, that there is abundance of time or money or love or good health; if you are not feeling joy, accomplishment, satisfaction, peace – not every minute of every day but at the least the average of every day – you’re waiting for something to happen first.

And the way you’re going, it won’t ever happen.

Let’s take love for instance. Do you think that you’ll be happy when you’re married? If you’re not very happy, and you’re single, and you want to be married, it seems reasonable to think that singleness is the reason you’re not happy and marriedness will make you so.

Except marriage doesn’t make you happy, it simply makes you married.

You might think you need to get married first and then you’ll magically become whomever you are going to be then. The opposite is true. This is a period of time you are being gifted to become the woman who has the kind of marriage you want.

Loving. Supportive. Honest. Rock-solid. Blessed. Abundant. Unbreakable.

Whatever kind of marriage you want, first become the woman who can create it and nurture it into being. And before you argue with me, I’d like to point out that if you already were that woman you’d already be in the marriage you want.

Don’t wait a moment longer.

When you’re ready for tools, techniques and personal guidance that podcasts and books don’t provide, contact me here

 

#havemorelove

#havefundating

#lovedating

#lovemakeovers

#datingandrelationships

#onlinedating

#midlifedating

Love Is…

Love is what I feel when I can still the fear and listen for direction. It’s peace, it’s joy, it’s harmony and certainty of purpose. It’s the feeling I get from accepting, cherishing and respecting myself. It comes from soul and it resonates to my core.

If you’d asked me in my 20’s I’d have said love was the feeling I had with the tall, dark, handsome guy who took me out a few times, except the last time we were supposed to go out he never showed up. And when I called him later, he said he was with his ex-girlfriend and lost track of the time.

In my 30’s I’d have said love was the feeling I had with the tall, dark, handsome guy who took me out a few times, except the last time we were supposed to go out he never showed up. And when I called him later, he said he was having such a good time at his friend’s party that he lost track of the time.

Now I know that love has nothing to do with my feelings for someone else or someone else’s feelings for me. It’s the solid, substantive, unwavering feeling I have when I show up for myself, when I take care of myself, when I care more about what I think of myself than what anyone else thinks of me.

I’d love to know what it is for you, so fill in the blank for yourself, then send me a message.

Love is ……

 

#havemorelove

#havefundating

#lovedating

#lovemakeovers

#datingandrelationships

#onlinedating

#midlifedating

You Are Enough

You have a story about why you haven’t met your right match.

You think every single man in the world is the same and wants every single woman to be the exact thing that you are not.

Whatever that is.

Because, after all, if you were whatever way you’re not, you’d have found him by now.

Right?

Nope.

I’m telling you the real story.

Every single man in the world is as unique as every single woman.

The people who push a one-size-fits-none view of relationships and try to make you believe you’re the one who doesn’t fit are trying to sell you something. And they only have that one thing to sell. They have no imagination, no understanding, no acceptance of the plethora of ways humanity works.

They are more to be pitied than obeyed. They are more to be put to the side than put on a pedestal.

There are many things you need to change to get to your intended destination.

You’ve got beliefs that don’t serve you, resistance to embracing feelings that would 10X your progress, you display behavior that doesn’t fairly represent you. All of these things are holding you back.

But you? You in and of yourself? The you that was created in God’s image and likeness?

You are enough.

 

#havemorelove

#havefundating

#lovedating

#lovemakeovers

#datingandrelationships

#onlinedating

#midlifedating

Invest In Yourself!

 

 

Blood, sweat, tears, fears; how much is not investing in yourself really costing you?

Feel like you’re being barraged from all sides with offers for things you absolutely need and can’t possibly live a good life without?

Here’s what I’ve learned about good when it comes to purchasing – there are products you buy and there are outcomes in which you invest.

There are people who will tell you that self-care means using a pretty-scented dishwashing liquid. These people sell dishwashing liquid. Dishwashing liquid is a product they want you to buy.

Self-care is actually how you care for yourself spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically over the course of your life. How comfortable are you feeling all your feelings? How often do you think about your thoughts? How willing are you to consider a belief that’s different from the one you’ve always believed? How able are you to ask for help to create something because you’ve exhausted yourself trying?

How much sweat has poured from you as you try to exercise your way to skinny because you think that’s what all men want?

How many tears have you shed over the wrong man?

How much do you fear that you’ll spend the rest of your life alone?

Life coaching is not a purchase, it’s an investment. An investment you make in yourself, which pays huge dividends over time.

One of the dividends you receive from coaching is that you get new ideas, new tools, new techniques to finally create the enriched romantic relationship you crave.

This is the only way for you to experience life in new ways.

New ways for a new year.