Risk vs. Reward. The Choice isn’t as Obvious as You Like to Think.

 

What does it mean to risk the usual and to settle for the ordinary?

To me it means give up what is familiar for something that could be phenomenal. Familiar; not extraordinary or spectacular. Not even ‘good.’ Just … ordinary.

That doesn’t sound like much of a risk, does it? I mean, in theory, who wouldn’t be willing to give up something ordinary if they would be getting something phenomenal in return?

But us humans just don’t work that way, do we? I mean, when you first read that part about getting something phenomenal in return didn’t you actually think, “There’s no guarantee that would happen.”

I want to offer you something that will change your outcomes when it comes to dating and creating the relationship you desire deep down inside – the reason you’re so quick to think a negative thought was to keep you safe in case of attack from a saber-tooth tiger. And that works much better now when you’re still wired to consider absolutely everything as a mortal risk to your well-being.

That line of reasoning loves nothing better than to have you home, safe and snug in the cave so you can curl up with a good book or the latest new release from Netflix. But the newest release is actually pretty ordinary, no matter how they spin it.

It’s certainly more ordinary than the joy, the love, the passion you dream of.

So, the risk is, you do something unusual that might not get you exactly what you want, like start using a dating app, even though you might not meet your husband on the first date or strike up a conversation in the market with the attractive man wearing the vintage movie poster face mask – even though he might not turn out to be your type.

But what might be the reason for you to stay with Netflix on Saturday night? Well, think about what it is you’re getting out of it, because you are getting something out of it. It’s comfortable, and in this ever-changing world right now, that’s no small thing. You know exactly what to expect and you’ll get it, and we love to have our expectations met! There’s also the fact that you’ll expend much less energy on the same old, and that’s go to be worth something, right?

Just think! If your risk actually pays off the reward could be finding yourself in a relationship with a real, live man who laughs at all your jokes and thinks your complete set of vintage Tupperware is fascinating. Who wouldn’t want that?

And if what you want is to truly, for the first time in your life, Have Fun Dating, I can show you how a simple shift can make a big impact!

Doesn’t that sound better than what you’re doing now, which is, not having fun dating?

 Risk vs. Reward. The Choice isn’t as Obvious as You Like to Think.

 Come find out how on this week’s Live! And, oh, BTW – we’re moving to Saturdays at 10am pacific, 1pm eastern, starting this Small-Business Saturday, November 28th!

Saturday, November 28th at 10AM pacific, 1pm eastern
https://www.facebook.com/HaveMoreLove/

#dating #romance #relationship #havemorelove

Friday the 13th is Just Around the Corner. Are You Going to Hide, or Embrace Your Heart and Soul and Deepest Desires and Finally Feel Lucky in Love?

When I was little I wondered why Friday the 13th was unlucky. It didn’t seem to make sense that there could be a day in a year that could cause havoc and harm in and of itself. Doesn’t it seem more likely that the havoc and harm comes from people acting irrationally and irresponsibly because they’re scared of what they think might happen?

I can understand that if you’d been taught something as a child you would believe it, but at some point you grow up and get to choose to believe what you want.

And you also get to choose to have what you want. Really.

Right now, in this very moment, do you have what you want in life?

Do you have the home, the career, the love that you dream of and the peace and the joy that you crave?

Now that you know you can, would you like to? Imagine that you are living in that house, running that business, walking hand in hand with that right man … what would that mean to you? I know what it meant to me – everything.

I can hear you now … how?

By changing how you’re thinking.

How you think created everything you currently have and learning how to manage your thoughts will create what you ultimately want – and the good news is, it’s the one thing in the world you actually have complete control over!

What would it be worth to you to find out exactly how you can manage your thinking to create the life you want? Everything in my life changed for the better when I learned how to manage my thoughts. I’m happy now, every day. If that sounds good to you, come find out the thing you need to know to have the thing you want to have.

And if what you want is to Have Fun Dating, I can show you how a simple shift can make a big impact!

Doesn’t that sound better than what you’re doing now, which is, not having fun dating?

 Friday the 13th is Just Around the Corner. Are You Going to Hide, or Embrace Your Heart and Soul and Deepest Desires and Finally Feel Lucky in Love?

Come find out how on this week’s Live!

Friday, November 13th at 2PM pacific, 5pm eastern
https://www.facebook.com/HaveMoreLove/

#dating #romance #relationship #havemorelove

Do You Need to Change Your Physical Circumstances to Have Everything Your Heart, Your Mind and Your Soul Desire? (Spoiler Alert – NO!)

I have a friend who thinks I’m nicer than she is. She’s told me that a couple of times when we’ve been discussing men. I don’t think it’s true.

This exchange usually takes place when we’ve been discussing what a man said or did and she’s adamant it’s because he intentionally wanted to cause some type of heartache. I’m equally adamant that since we don’t know for sure, it could just as well be true that he might have had no nefarious intention at all.

I’ve told her that I’m not nicer than her, I simply go out into the world looking for different evidence than she does.

I believe that men are people, and all people are inherently good, so I go out into the world looking for evidence to support my belief, and evidence ultimately means – the way I interpret the circumstances around me.

Right in this moment you have belief systems in place. You might have taken on the beliefs of people around you, maybe you created yours for yourself, and as you go about your day you interpret what you see in a way that will support what you already believe.

In other words, you aren’t believing what you see, you are seeing what you already believe. I don’t think men are inherently good because I meet more nice ones than you do, I meet more nice ones than you do because I already believe they exist. And it’s also about interpretation.

I meet all the same men you do, and some of the ones you don’t think are nice are ones I think are very nice. And it’s not because my standards are lower than yours.

It’s because my sights – and my thoughts – are set higher.

What if simply changing the way you’re seeing your world is the key to you creating the enriched romantic relationship you desire?

What would it be worth to you to find out how you’ve been unconsciously creating what you’ve got now and how you can consciously start to Have Fun Dating!

Doesn’t that sound better than NOT having fun dating? 😉

Do You Need to Change Your Physical Circumstances to Have Everything Your Heart, Your Mind and Your Soul Desire? (Spoiler Alert – NO!)

Come find out on this week’s Live! Friday, October 23 at 2PM pacific
https://www.facebook.com/HaveMoreLove/

#dating #romance #relationship #havemorelove

T.R.U.S.T.2

 

It took me a minute.

 

I thought, why would I jump for the air? I feel safe on the ground, not in the air worrying if I’ll land safely.

No, it says you jump for the moments in the air. Oh! The lift, the thrill of feeling free, the pure joy!

It takes a lot of trust, really. I would have to trust that I wouldn’t go crashing to the ground – or at the very least that if I did I would be able to get up, brush myself off and start again.

Have you had moments of feeling freedom in your relationships?

When have you been in a relationship, whether in the nascent stages of dating or months or years into a committed partnership, and felt free enough to truly trust? Or trusted enough to truly share?

When have you let go of worrying that something will go wrong and simply let yourself enjoy what life is trying to gift you in that moment? Ever?

Worrying that something bad will happen won’t stop it from happening, it will only stop you from enjoying all the time you’ve spent worrying.

Imagine if you’ve spent time worrying that something bad will happen and then … it doesn’t happen. And imagine that instead, something good happens. Sounds amazing, right?

Except, when you’re worried that something bad will happen, and you’re wasting that time that you could be enjoying the rest of your life, you’re not seeing any of the good that is happening. You’re blinding yourself to what’s really happening around you.

If you’re blind to what’s really happening around you how can you see it and hear it and feel it when the man you’re with is showing you every act and telling you every word and expressing every feeling that you’ve ever dreamed of?

What if TRUST is the key to you creating the enriched romantic relationship you desire?

What would it be worth to you to find out how to trust yourself so you can find and choose your right man?

How to Trust Yourself in the World With Your Most Precious Qualities –
Your Heart, Your Soul, Your Self!

Come find out on this week’s Live! Friday, October 16 at 2PM pacific
@HaveMoreLove https://www.facebook.com/HaveMoreLove/

#dating #romance #relationship

T.R.U.S.T.

Do you feel like you’re stuck in the drum of a washing machine on perpetual SPIN?

Humanity is suffering right now! We need to know Who? Where? How? When? What the f? to TRUST. And in this country in particular we’re trying to figure out who to trust for the next 4 years!!!

Who do you trust? Do you trust anyone at all? How did you learn how to trust? Ever take a class in that in school? If you’re anything like me that would be a NO.

And now let’s talk about trust in relation to relationships. Who do you trust? How do you trust? Where do you find him? How do you connect? When will it happen? You’ve tried it before, right? You trusted men who told you things they would do and promises they would keep and you weren’t very successful. What can you do to not f it up this time?

I was a very intuitive child. I felt things and saw things and understood so many things that no grownup would give a child credit for. I just knew… I thought of it as the little tickle at the back of my head.

But it wasn’t exactly accepted by others. An adult might believe you, but it can be very inconvenient for them to accept what you’re saying – especially if one of those things is that you see the crack in their mask.

And what they might do is try to make you think you’re wrong. They’ll try to make you question the validity of what you’re thinking and saying. Ultimately, they’re undermining the trust you have in yourself.

Now that you’ve been taught to not trust yourself, how will you go out into the world and trust others? Is it any wonder why you aren’t finding your right match?

You look around the world and see so many women just like you, snuggling in solitude with a quality man, and you are not even making a basic connection.

What if TRUST is the key to you creating the enriched romantic relationship you desire?

What would it be worth to you to find out how to trust a man?

What is it worth it to you to not have to figure it all out on your own?

I can help you with that right here: https://lenacoachsession.as.me/

#dating #romance #relationship

Are You Repeating Your Patterns in Love Again? Still? Let Yourself Get Off the Merry-Go-Round and Start Fresh!

Let’s talk about the ‘but…’

Last week I talked about patterns. No matter how aware we might be as people, we usually aren’t aware of what is at the root of what stops us from creating the things that we truly desire. Like doing the same thing in the same way and getting the same result over and over, even though we want something different. It’s a pattern that is a protective mechanism for sure, the way we don’t have to risk discovering something we think would cause discomfort or worse, shame.

What’s the reason for them? Where and how do they start and most important – how the heck can you break the pattern that keeps happening and start getting what you really, really want in your life? One way is to acknowledge that patterns don’t just ‘happen’ they are the result of your actions.

If you are someone who has always taken pride in figuring everything out for yourself, no matter how long it takes, then that’s not just a point of pride – that in itself is a pattern! Tricky, right? And that is a key to not figuring out your other patterns, because as much as we can know ourselves we can’t always see ourselves.

It just keeps happening.

Are you someone who has always lost yourself for the pursuit of love? Do you find yourself repeatedly in relationships in which you are the caregiver or you always end up doing whatever your partner wants to do and never what you want? You may have the belief that it’s ‘who you are.’ You may think that you only attract partners who are unable to take care of themselves or their finances or their relationships or those who are controlling, and yet …  

You are not simply attracting a type who you then ‘have to’ take care of or acquiesce to – you are making choices that you are not seeing as choices and this is where you are giving up your power. You are taking actions that you don’t understand how to control and repeatedly create the very outcome you want to avoid. The things you do are not who you are.

I can save you a whole lot of time. Time, it’s that thing you always wish you had more of! But only if you click here: https://lenacoachsession.as.me/

What do patterns have to do with power?

If you believe that you are just who you are, and you also believe that your experience of life is outside of your control these are two thought patterns that have diminished your power. And just like I always say – this is exciting news!

It’s exciting because it’s not your past partners or the structure of the relationships that caused you to lose yourself with no hope of recovery! Your not having control did not come from outside of you. It’s choices you were making and actions you were taking and when you learn how to make consciously different choices and take consciously different actions you will create a totally different outcome! 

Is something resonating with you but you don’t know how to put it into action? Click on this link to schedule your 20-minute free call with me.  https://lenacoachsession.as.me/

It’s not like anything I’ve ever heard before. It feels so wrong.

One of the patterns I used to have is that when I was in a relationship and I was happy with the person and could see potential for us down the road I would soon get a sense that something was very wrong. It didn’t feel like fear or intuition, it felt like dread. 

I wouldn’t talk to anybody, I wouldn’t ask anybody, I wouldn’t look it up and see if anybody beside me had ever had this feeling – I would just decide on my own that if it seemed wrong it must be wrong and I would quit. I’d either tell him flat out I didn’t want to go out anymore or I’d start acting in ways that would make him want to break up with me. (Another pattern I had was to date guys who eventually started treating me really badly so I would break up with them. Those are the ones who I fought to stay with.)

Notice I said I decided all these things on my own. Because in my twenties and thirties I had to figure out everything on my own. Because I couldn’t ask for help. Because … honestly, now I can’t imagine wasting as much time as I did, years and years of my life doing only as much as I knew in my own brain to do. But then it seemed vitally important. It was a point of pride to not ask for help, to not seek guidance from someone who’d been down the path at least a few steps ahead of me.

That pattern of pride cost me a lot of time and heartache and exhaustion. 

This is so exciting because it’s about you and for you right now! If you want your life to change you need to be willing to take one conscious step toward changing your life.

Here’s how I can help: Are you ready to actually have the relationship you want? Let’s do this! Click on this link to schedule your personal, 20-minute video call with me. You have nothing to spend and so much to gain: https://lenacoachsession.as.me/

 

Do You Feel Like Something Keeps Happening That Keeps You From Finding the Love You Desire? Do You Feel Like Something Keeps Happening That Keeps You From Finding the Love You Desire? Do You Feel Like Something Keeps Happening That Keeps You From Finding the Love You Desire?

Do You Feel Like Something Keeps Happening That Keeps You From Finding the Love You Desire? Do You Feel Like Something Keeps Happening That Keeps You From Finding the Love You Desire? Do You Feel Like Something Keeps Happening That Keeps You From Finding the Love You Desire?

Patterns, we all have them. And if they’re patterns that work for you, great!  But…

You are a very aware woman. You notice everything that happens around you; you see clearly all of the things that happen in the world; and they keep happening over and over and over again. These things happen to you and you know you can’t change them, right? It’s all the other people doing those things that will have to do the changing. 

It makes so much sense, doesn’t it? If something is happening to you, if something is coming from outside of you, how can you possibly have any control over it? That’s why it’s so frustrating, why you feel so hopeless about ever finding love, because your dating patterns are totally outside of your control! 

You only meet men who are unable to commit. Every guy you find attractive has serious financial woes. You certainly can’t control that every man you date is looking for a younger woman, can you?

You have a sinking suspicion that it might not be all about the men.

What if your dating pattern has more to do with you than with random chance or an entire world full of men? I know you might think I’m totally off base to suggest that, but hear me out.

I spent many years of my life repeating the same patterns in my dating. The main one was, I would be crazy about men who weren’t crazy about me. We’d go out a few times and then they’d say they didn’t want a long-term relationship. Or we’d go out for months and then they’d say they didn’t want to be exclusive, and I called them commitment-phobes. The funny thing was, each and every one of those commitment-phobes wound up getting married. Usually to the woman he met right after me!

When I thought about the pattern playing out in my life how could I keep up my story about it being the men’s fault when they acted totally different with other women? 

I finally realized I couldn’t. And by finally I mean it took me yeeeeeears! One day I had a heart-to-heart talk with myself. It wasn’t easy, as a matter of fact it was really uncomfortable. But I knew that if my life was ever going to be different something was going to have to change for me. For me, not to me.

What if, rather than things simply happening outside and around you, things keep happening because of something that is totally within your own control? That’s the most amazing good news!

I can save you a whole lot of time. Time, it’s that thing you always wish you had more of! But only if you click here:  https://lenaecoachsession.as.me/  

Let’s talk about fishing.

You probably believe that your experience of life is outside of your control. You might also believe that your thoughts about things come about after they’ve already happened. For example, if you had what you consider a ‘bad’ date with a man and he talked about fishing all night, you might think it was the fact that he talked about fishing that made it bad. You might even decide that you were so bored that you’ll never go out with another man who likes to fish. 

Considering the number of men online who talk about fishing, I think you’re narrowing the pool way too much – just sayin’!

You don’t think that he talked way too much about fishing because it was a bad date. It was a bad date because while he was talking you were thinking, fishing is boring, he’s boring, I’m bored – and you labeled it bad. And now you think you have to avoid men who fish, when in reality you have to change the way you think about them.

Is something resonating with you but you don’t know how to put it into action? Click on this link to schedule your 20-minute free call with me. https://lenaecoachsession.as.me/  

Even when the world shuts down your desires don’t.

Yes, even in the midst of worldwide uncertainty. Not only now, especially now. Every woman I know is taking stock of her life in this moment and saying, if not now when?

It’s time for you to put yourself first. You are a woman who has great dreams, hopes and desires and I am exactly the right person to work alongside you to help you achieve every single one of them!

This is it! This is so exciting because it’s about you and for you right now! If you want your life to change you need to be willing to take one small step toward changing your life.

Here’s how I can help: Are you ready to actually have the relationship you want? Let’s do this! Click on this link to schedule your personal, 20-minute video call with me. There’s absolutely no charge to you, and you have so much to gain: https://lenaecoachsession.as.me/