There were years of my life that I didn’t get asked out on any dates. Then I’d get asked out and stood up. Then I’d go on dates with men who paid more attention to the game on TV or the waitress, than to me. I was in a no-ask period of time right before a very big birthday.
Let me tell you about the best-worst thing I’ve ever done in my life.
I was so obsessed with not wanting to spend my 40th birthday alone in L.A. that I searched for an exciting way to distract myself. I spent a week hiking in the south of France and then went to Paris for 3 days. Let me say that again – I didn’t want to turn 40 alone in Los Angeles, so …
I WENT TO THE MOST ROMANTIC PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE. ALONE. ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Smart girl, not brilliant.
I’ve traveled to 30 states and nine different countries, had more first days on the job than any ten people I know and had more first dates than each of those same ten people. Each of those experiences required me to adapt to new situations, new people, new ways to do … everything!
I’m grateful for every choice I’ve made.
Even that trip to France.
Because it was during that trip, while I was lost somewhere in Provence, that I had a revelation that changed my life. I was, quite literally, lost. It was the first day of my trip and I’d been wandering for hours trying to find the trailhead. I was exhausted, scared and thoroughly regretted what I now thought was an impetuous decision to go on the trip in the first place. How was I ever going to hike for 5 days when I couldn’t even find the trail to get out of town?
I sat down on the curb of a traffic circle and sobbed while cars raced around me. Then came a loud voice in my head, “You can believe this is a mess, you’re a mess, wish you’d never done this, sit here and cry, declare defeat, go home, probably cry some more and tell that story for the rest of your life. Or, you can decide that this is the grandest of all grand adventures, know this is happening for you, figure it the f-out and tell that story. You’ve got ten seconds to decide. Go!”
I chose Go! And I’ve been going ever since.
For the first time in my life I was conscious that I got to choose how to interpret my circumstances. I got to decide how my story would turn out and how I’d tell it. I realized just having that thought made me feel a whole lot better. I felt peaceful and self-confident when literally ten seconds before I’d been a puddle of insecurity and anxiety.
I got to choose a thought and then create that result. Here’s how that plays out in dating:
I used to believe it when other women said dating was hard, so it was.
I used to believe it when other women said all men were alike, so they were.
I used to not get asked out on any dates.
Now I know the truth.
Dating is fun!
Good men are everywhere!
Now I get asked out on second dates 95% of the time!
Coaching helped me to see how my thinking was creating my reality. I became a Certified Life and Weight Coach to help you experience the magic of creating the enriched romantic relationship you desire.
If you need help in achieving this in your own life, then book a free mini session today to see if I’m a good fit to help you.