Taking Inspired Actions to Sustain Love and Relationships!
Taking inspired action is my new favorite credo. Taking action that’s inspired not contrived makes me believe that my desire is permissible and reaching my goal is possible. And that, in turn, makes me more likely to keep doing what I need to do to make it happen! When my thoughts and actions are inspired I feel beautifully nourished and much less likely to quit on myself.
When it comes to dating, loving and relationships, I’ve made every mistake that any ten women could possibly make. It took me decades of trial and error and finally just being tired of repeating my same mistakes, to get to the place in my life I’m at now; happy, fulfilled, loving and loved and sustaining a beautiful relationship with my romantic partner by my side.
Let me save you a lot of time and share three things I needed to see differently, needed to be inspired rather than tired about, in order to create the enriched romantic relationship I’m now happily a part of.
1) Acting like someone who didn’t want to be there
When I look back to the beginning of my current relationship, I wasn’t trying to make our couple-family together, I was trying not to, because that was what I knew to do. If something didn’t go the way I thought it ought to, I questioned if I ought to be there at all. I was always thinking that I could just as easily leave him as stay.
I wasn’t truly trying to be a couple with any man I dated before, either. I was constantly trying to placate him so he would try to be a couple with me. I saw the need for someone to be acting like we were a couple, I knew that it needed to be done, but I wasn’t doing it, I was waiting for him to do it.
It’s one of our biggest complaints, isn’t it? Some of us feel like we’re wasting our lives waiting for a man to take an action – but what if it’s an action we ought to be taking ourselves?
How do you show up in your relationships? Are you really trying to love your man? Are you trying to be part of a couple, create a new family with him, or have you been trying to get men you date to act like they’re in a relationship with you while you keep one mental foot on the threshold, waiting for your chance to make a mad dash for the comfort and familiarity of the exit?
2) Forgetting that not loving always hurts
If you’re not trying to love him, to really fit in and be part of your new couple, then you will be more likely to at least think about leaving at the first hint of disagreement. Or maybe you will leave. Or maybe you’ll stay but it will be a constant struggle, many fights, many tears.
I remember all the years my story was that men left me, when in reality, I probably left almost as often. The thing is, though, I never left because I didn’t want to be there. I left because I wanted to be there a lot, and I thought that if I didn’t care too much while I was in the relationship it wouldn’t hurt as bad when it ended. Spoiler alert – that doesn’t work with friends, relatives, pets, or romantic partners.
So, my pattern was creating two consistent outcomes:
I was never becoming attached to a partner or a relationship, so all my relationships ended.
Each ending hurt worse than the one before.
You deserve so much more, and you can do so much better for yourself!
3) Not questioning my questions
If you’re like me, there are probably habits you’ve grown accustomed to that get you through the first-few-dates-phase of your new love relationships. You might be totally unaware that your beliefs create your outcomes. Well, those beliefs start out as thoughts, and those thoughts come out as questions you’ve been asking yourself and men for a long time.
Keep asking the same questions and you’ll keep creating the same outcomes in love that you’ve had up until now. To serve your desire for inspired dating, here are some new questions to ask as you prepare to embark on your next grand love adventure.
Stop asking, “What do I wear on my date? I wonder if he’ll like this on me?”
Ask, “What do I hope he’ll feel and how can I help him feel it?”
Stop asking, “Why won’t he commit to me?”
Ask, “Where am I not committing to myself in my life? Where am I not all in for a relationship with this man?”
Stop asking, “What do I talk about? What if it’s awkward or boring?”
Ask, “How do I want his day to be different, better, because he and I crossed paths?”
More inspired, loving questions lead us to more inspired, loving relationships.
Okay, beautiful, that’s how you ultimately sustain a relationship with a high-quality man. You ask inspired questions that lead to inspired actions.
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