Looking for love, dating or marriage online?  Now’s the time!

I used to think that fall was a terrible time to go online because of the upcoming holidays, believing that everybody was already coupled up and that I would just drift in a sea of unread profiles and unseen pics.

I was so wrong! My now-boyfriend and I had our first official date last October 28th. We’re coming up on our 1st anniversary and if I’d decided last year that all the good ones must already be taken, someone else would have taken him!

Here’s the thing, the run-up to the winter holidays has always been a good time to seek love online. The only reason I thought it was bad was because that story kept me safe. Coming up with excuses to not go online was second nature to me, as cozy as a soft blanket. 

Do you think you’ll have to give up too much of your current lifestyle and activities to be with a man? Will you disappoint the ones who depend on you to be the steadfast, single friend? Perhaps you’re simply feeling comfortable with your singleness and feeling resistant to change. 

If you’d like to spend this New Year’s Eve cozied up with your man instead of your blanket, then this is the perfect time to figure out what’s holding you back so you can move forward!

Ask yourself, what kind of relationships have I had in the past? What did each of my previous experiences have in common? Did I choose the same kind of man each time? 

Take your focus off the men and take a good look at yourself, your patterns, your thoughts and actions. That’s where you’ll strike gold. It’s true that knowledge is power, because you can’t get what you want for your future until you know what hasn’t gotten you what you want up until now.

After you’ve figured out exactly what’s been holding you back, take a good long look in the mirror and say goodbye to the past, single you.

Looking for love online? Let yourself be seen 

After you’ve said goodbye to the past, single you, while you’re still looking in that mirror, say hello to the new you. The woman who is ready, willing and able to create a beautiful online profile that shares the true you, honestly and with joy! This is the way to allow your right match to find you!

You want to let your man know exactly who you are and what he can expect when he chooses to share his life with you. 

Let him see himself; talk directly to him and tell him about the kind of man you seek. Is he quietly confident or brashly intrepid? Is he celebrating many years as an employee, happy with his two weeks’ annual pre-planned vacation, or a titan who moves mountains from his laptop and can pick up on the spur of the moment and accompany you on a month-long adventure? Are you looking forward to his corny jokes or heartfelt poetry? Tell him so!

 Let him see the future; tell him the things you enjoy and how you spend your time and suggest ways you’d like to spend your time together. And be sure to let him know that this is not an all-inclusive list, that part of getting to know each other will be discovering what he enjoys and coming up with ideas for all the things you’ll enjoy and do together. 

 Let him see you; post clear, current, beautiful photos that complement what you’ve written and show you in the best possible way – as you are now. It’s not about pore-erasing filters or slimming poses, it’s about expressing visually what you want him to know about you and the life you’ll share.

Might some other men, some mismatches, be attracted to you as well? Of course they will, so what? The more deliberate you are about presenting yourself fully, out loud, the more interest you’ll have – and the greater probability your best match will find you.

Seeking your right match for love? Game, Mindset, Match

If you’re anything like I was, you’ve probably spent a lot of time writing and re-writing your profile, asking your friends what makes you a catch and wondering how sarcastic you can dare to be in print (based on studies, skip the snark and stick to a more playful type of humor. Sarcasm doesn’t read well; you really need to hear the tone of someone’s voice for that to sound funny). And you’ve spent as much time, if not more, taking and discarding photos, convinced you need to look taller, thinner or younger. 

If you want to create a different outcome in dating than you ever have before I really recommend you invest conscious effort working on your mindset. Okay, you’ve been hearing that word a lot lately, what does it mean? According to an online dictionary, your mindset is the established set of attitudes you hold. What does this mean for your romantic results? Your outcome in romance has a lot more to do with what you think about men and dating than it does with the men themselves.

Schedule regular time each week to work out what you need to do to go to the next level. Ask yourself real questions about your past and your present and don’t stop until you arrive at real answers. And when you uncover a belief about yourself, men or relationships that doesn’t serve you, practice thinking a new one.

Just like I mentioned earlier about how seeing your past patterns gives you power to stop repeating your old outcomes, seeing your present behavior is your first step in creating your most desired future . Notice where you’re hiding away, feeling unworthy, not being authentic. Look for a tendency to procrastinate going online or to live social events where you might meet a man in person, or otherwise sabotage your success. 

No matter if you’ve been in a years’ long relationship, had a bunch of short ‘situationships’ or you’ve never dated at all, you can, ultimately, wind up in your most desired, enriched romantic relationship, cozied up with your rightest match as the ball drops this New Year’s Eve!

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