Do you feel like you’re doing it all wrong because you don’t have the life you want?

Celebrate all the steps on the way to the big goal.

There are a lot of people who only celebrate birthdays that end in a zero. And perhaps doing something that infrequently makes one inclined to think it has to go exactly to plan or else it doesn’t count.

For my 50th birthday there was a group of people who I cared about who cared about me, and food and laughter and a cake with candles and lots of good wishes! 

But for a long time whenever I thought of that evening, all I remembered was how it didn’t go according to plan. I thought about the man I’d met 6 weeks earlier who, when I said I was thinking of taking a trip for my birthday, asked me to please stay in town. Who said if I was here we would definitely celebrate my birthday together! He texted me at 3 minutes to midnight to say, “I want to be the last person to wish you a happy birthday.” 

I’d looked forward to that milestone with a specific expectation and when it didn’t happen I ruined the memory of it for myself.

I’m not waiting for 10 years to pass before celebrating again. I’ve planned a party for each of my birthdays since, and my guest list is filled exclusively with people who mean the most to me, not people who I hope I mean something important to. And every year there are more and more people!

Measure your transformation, not by what happens on one particular day, but by what is happening in thought every day. When I am presented with a challenge that looks familiar and I create a different result than I ever have before, that’s a win worth celebrating. 

Celebrating completing small goals moves you toward achieving your big goal. You think you’ll celebrate when you get there, but I can promise you that won’t happen. You might not even realize you’re there, or you may decide it’s not really a big deal at all and just set another, bigger, goal. 

Celebrate you and all your accomplishments!

Surround yourself with whatever you find beautiful.

As you can see, I love to be around flowers. I think they’re all beautiful in their own unique ways – just like people! And seeing them makes me happy!

What do you find beautiful?

Take a good look around you right now and really see what you are surrounded by. Is there beauty in your sight-lines every day? It doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive or one of a kind. It might be a flower in someone’s garden or a laughing baby, or two neighbors talking and smiling at each other.

There are enough things in the world that we encounter every day that are hard and rough and ugly and after a while it might seem like that’s all there is. And when your life is skewed all the way to one side that’s when you are out of balance. 

There are some people in the world whose lives are skewed all the way to the ugly side. They are out of balance, they feel terrible and so they can be quick to tell you you’re wrong to want beauty, love and joy. They may say you’re weak or not serious enough or wasting your time focusing on the wrong things. 

Life is not supposed to be ugly or hard and you don’t have to suffer to prove you’re worthy of … anything. Must you do hard things sometimes? Yes, although there is a world of difference between doing hard things and life being hard. You are here because you’re already worthy.

It’s not weak or lightweight to have beauty in your life, it’s the affirmation of life!

Have, feel and express gratitude.

Possibly the #bestgiftever

I live where the earth moves, so keep a flashlight and shoes under my bed.

I ignored it for years, and the batteries corroded and leaked and now it’s impossible to open it.  (Lesson learned – replace batteries every time you change the clocks.)

December 15th –

   He: I know we’re not exchanging gifts, but I’d like to get you a new Maglite.

   Me: Yes, thank you!

December 24th –

   He: I know you like purple, so I searched until I found one. And then, when I opened the package to put in  the batteries I scratched the plastic lens, so I replaced it with a glass one.

Would you be grateful to receive a flashlight from a man? 

Or do you think that a flashlight is a terrible gift and a man who gave you one doesn’t care about your wants and desires or just isn’t ‘romantic’ enough for you?

Moral of the story:

A flashlight is an expression of wanting to provide protection and safety.

A purple flashlight with batteries and an upgraded lens is an expression of taking into account my preferences and showing attention to detail and excellence and willingness to go the extra mile.

For all of those things I am extremely grateful!

How are people expressing love in ways you may not have recognized as such?

How have you expressed love in ways others didn’t recognize?

This is your life. Balancing it is up to you.

#havemorelove #havefundating #singleandspiritual #lovedating #lovemakeovers

#datingandrelationships #onlinedating #midlifedating