Dating, Marriage and Your Romantic Relationships – Are you doing the right things?
There are too many high-quality, marriage-ready, communicative, single gentlemen on this app!
Said no unmarried woman ever.
What I usually hear is, there’s nobody here for me, these men are all commitment-phobes, everybody’s married, they all only want sex, I need a different app!
What kinds of things are you doing to create the marriage you want? Are you posting a profile and great pics online, telling all your friends you want to meet someone, signing up for a dating service, decluttering, moving into a larger space, burning candles and saying affirmations to draw in your love?
Any one of these might be the right thing. Maybe none of them are. But here’s the real thing…
You are a woman who has achieved success in one area of your life – work. You’re either an employee with a high-powered, high level position in your chosen career, or an owner of a thriving business.
I want to offer you a way to remind yourself of exactly how amazing you are, and how you are absolutely capable of creating the relationship of your dreams. Sit down and write yourself a letter, but not any ordinary letter. You’re going to write a list of everything you’ve ever accomplished – at work.
This is your evidence list. You’re going to call it that so that in the future if you start to doubt whether you’ll ever be married you can look at all the ‘evidence’ of what you’ve already achieved and gain confidence from your capability.
You are a woman who gets things done and success skills are transferable.
You know what to do. If you’ve been taking consistent action toward your goal of meeting a high-quality man to whom you can one day be married and you’re not married yet it’s not because you’re not doing the right things.
Dating, Marriage and Your Romantic Relationships – Are you doing the things right?
So, if it’s true that you’ve created all of these amazing achievements at work – and it is – then how come you’re not experiencing this nirvana in your romantic relationships? Is it possible that it’s not what you’re doing, but how you’re doing it?
Do you know the difference between doing the right things and doing things right? Doing the right things is about what you do. Doing things right is about how you feel while you’re doing. And feelings start with your thoughts.
I’m not suggesting I can tell you one right way to do anything, and if you’ve read books or taken classes that purported to tell you how, that could be the issue right there. The only right way to embark on the journey that will lead to marriage is to do it the way that honors, highlights, respects and embraces you in all your glory. That’s why personalized coaching is so vital!
Have you been trying to create love the way someone else says is ‘right?’ Stop it!
Have you noticed how you feel while you’re posting your profile or swiping through your daily matches or engaging in a conversation with a man you’ve met online? Are you finding very few candidates to date? Are you having any fun on the dates you do have?
If you don’t feel good, and you’re not having any fun, it’s time to stop the things you’re doing and figure out how to do the things you’re doing right.
Dating, Marriage and Your Romantic Relationships – Are you getting the things you want?
If you were managing an important work project you’d first decide the goal then determine the metrics that will tell you if you’re achieving it. And then you’d decide how to accomplish it which would include a fair assessment of whether or not you have the tools and skills necessary.
It’s exactly the same process in dating, relationships and marriage.
What’s your pleasure? Do you want to be married and have children, married with no children, blissfully cohabiting sans marriage? You get to do you.
How will you know if you’re achieving your goal? Well, if you’ve read this far I’d say you’re probably not there. Do you know how to create the outcome you desire when it comes to love? Do you have the tools and skills necessary to create love with ease and joy rather than the way you see your friends try to do it – with pain and suffering?
If you don’t currently possess those tools and skills it’s not a moral failing, a condemnation or a sign that marriage is not for you. It’s simply an acknowledgment that you’ve spent more time focusing on work than your personal life. For years you’ve taken care of everything except your personal desires – and I can help you change your focus and learn how to transfer those success skills from business to pleasure!
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