Dating, Marriage and Your Mindset

marriage, dating, love, midlife dating, what are you creating in your dating? mindset

Dating, Romance and Your Romantic Relationships – What are you thinking?

Welcome back to Hard-Truth Monday! 😂

Does that make you want to grab a cup of tea and tuck in for a good read or grab your keys and run out the door? I’ve got you.

If you want to be married and you are still single you need to be willing to look at what you are thinking about dating, relationships, marriage and men. Mostly, though, you are going to have to really examine what you think about yourself, and yourself in relation to each of these. If you’re not willing to at least look at it – and take action to change what you’re thinking – your marital status will not change.

OMGoodness, that sounds so haaaard! Can’t you date, or even get into a relationship with someone, without doing it? Sure, if you want just any relationship. 

Come on, you can do hard things! Especially in service of something as important as your lifelong, personal happiness! Your mindset is of paramount importance in your creating the enriched, romantic relationship with your right, high-quality partner, one that befits who you are and what you deserve in life. And that’s what you truly desire.

Think about all the times in the past that you sabotaged what you thought was a phenomenal relationship. I bet if you’d had a peek under the hood to see how your destructive thoughts were creating the impulses that led to your ruinous actions … well, you might be married by now!

Dating, Romance and Your Romantic Relationships – What are you feeling?

Did you know that the thoughts you’re thinking are creating the emotions you’re feeling? Yes, really! And the way you’re feeling is the fuel for your words and actions. And your words and actions are the way a man experiences you.

Let’s think about that for a second … the way a man experiences you is through the actions you take and the words you speak. So, if you were on a date with someone who you already saw as a great candidate to snuggle up with for the rest of your life … how would you want him to experience you? Why, as an equally great candidate for him to snuggle up with, right?

Now, imagine coming home from work and rather than having left early, getting stuck late and not even being able to clear off your own desk because you kept getting called away to cover somebody else’s duties, getting stuck in traffic, having to stop for gas ‘cause you’re running on fumes … what might you be thinking about having to meet your date in one short hour instead of the leisurely two hours on which you’d planned? If it were me I’d think about curling up in a ball and ordering in. Or just getting into bed and pulling the covers over my head. I’d be thinking about anything but having to dress up, slap on a smile and go meet someone I’d hoped might be my forever one. 

Feeling a bit … stressed?

How many times in the past have you felt stressed on a date? How did you act? How did you speak? How did you behave? How much fun did you have on a date when you were feeling stressed? 

You don’t ever have to feel stressed on a date again. 

Dating, Romance and Your Romantic Relationships – Who Are You Attracting?

Do you think that the Law of Attraction means that if you keep dating people who are unavailable or commitment-phobes, or don’t show up on time or stand you up completely, or simply don’t appreciate your qualities or don’t respect or love you the way you want to be loved it means there’s something wrong with you? NO!

It means that YOU are not being totally available to yourself. You are not committing to yourself. You are being disrespectful and unloving and unappreciative of your amazing qualities and so you are attracting people who mirror those behaviors back to you.

In the words of Brooke Castillo, “You can’t expect someone to do something for you that you’re not willing to do for yourself. Loving yourself is definitely one of those things.”

Oh, and btw, the Law of Attraction is not about who’s attracted to you, it’s about who you’re attracted to. Why are you still dating people who are unavailable or commitment-phobes or don’t show up on time or stand you up completely or don’t appreciate your qualities or don’t respect or love you the way you want to be loved?

Because a teeny, tiny part of your mind thinks that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Even though, deep down in your heart, you know it’s not.

Operate from your heart! Control all the parts of your life that you can, and your thoughts are absolutely under your control! This isn’t about you sitting demurely waiting for the right man to suddenly realize he’s uncontrollably attracted to you. This is about you creating the circumstances that will present you in your most sincere, genuine, fun-loving, irreverent, full-blown self, so the one who is seeking only you can find you!

When you’re finally so tired of being alone that you’re willing to do what it takes to feel joy in partnership, you’re going to need a coach. Because if you could have gotten from where you are to where you want to be on your own, you’d be married by now.