What does God know about romance?
I know you think it’s hard to meet a good man. You also think that Covid has set your plans back by a year and you’re afraid you missed your chance to have the husband and family you’ve wanted for so long. Are you feeling a bit … impatient?
When you say your prayers at night what is it you seek? A good husband? A great father? An excellent provider? And what about his qualities – Considerable financial means? World Traveler? Commitment to a religion that is your own? Of course, if these qualities can be wrapped in a 6’2” frame with great hair and a killer smile, so much the better, right? That’s your ideal. Actually, that would be ideal.
You’re impatient because you believe you’ve not yet met the man who checks all the many, many, boxes. And you’re getting a little …umm, tired … of people suggesting you might be too picky. Why shouldn’t you have a partner who has all the things you want?
Be honest – are you offering a prayer or placing an order?
If God did know about romance, it would be different.
When you do go online and scan the profiles, what is it you find? Are there many men who check all the boxes? Nope. Often it seems there aren’t even any. Apparently the ones you seek do not exist and the ones seeking you are definitely not marriage material. How many times, in the stillness of the night, have you asked God, “Why?”
Why does it seem to happen for everyone else but you? Why are other women in beautiful partnerships with amazing men and you’re not? Why aren’t you ever attracted to the ones that pursue you? The nice ones are so boring, and the exciting ones aren’t very nice.
God (the Universe, the Law of Attraction) is presenting the same men to you as to all the rest of us. What is the lens through which you are viewing them? I find that when I stop being impatient and allow patience to have Her perfect work the world in which I live is more ideal.
God governs time, not me. I’ve learned to look for the green flags, because when I only look for the red flags, when I keep repeating all the negative mantras – dating is hard and all men are this and no man wants that … that’s all I see. I’ve learned that men are people too, and to expect one to be all things is wrong of me, not of men. I’ve learned that no man is a perfect human, and yet there is a human man who is perfect for me.
Maybe the question is, what does God know that I don’t?
I’ve had long term relationships, although I’ve never been married, mostly because I never wound up dating anyone I could see myself happily married to. The reasons for that are many, and I’ll explore them more throughout this journey, the point here is, since I transformed my thoughts about dating my results have been transformed as well. Each of the relationships I’ve had in the last 5 years has been better than the one before.
I met a man online in September and as we’ve gone slowly through the maze of socially-responsible dating during a worldwide pandemic I experience his many qualities that beautifully align with my values and lifestyle desires; including acquiring a passport so we can traverse the streets of Paris together and embracing my religion because he had been seeking one for himself. We have a Want Match, and it’s a beautiful way to live! But hear me – he hadn’t had a passport since High School and he wasn’t already a member of the church in which I was raised, as a matter of fact he’d never heard of it.
So maybe God isn’t Amazon Prime. Maybe you don’t place an order and receive a delivery in 2 hours, pop open the box and find a man who is prepackaged with all the things you want because it’s you who are supposed to inspire him to find the experiences he needs.