Romantic Relationship and Finding Yourself


I see you hiding back there, even though you thought I wouldn’t see you, didn’t you? And if I didn’t see you, you wouldn’t have to do the work on yourself, right?

Just like when I’d try to hide in the back of the crowd during gym class hoping I wouldn’t have to climb a rope or walk a beam or jump over a pommel horse. The only problem is, if I only heard about it, or watched others do it, I’d never learn to do it myself.

For a long while I was the exact same way about dating. I kept watching others do it thinking that would help me, while I wasn’t doing very much of it myself, but there were a whole bunch of things I was doing…

Taking classes, reading books, listening to podcasts and attending workshops will take you just so far. They can teach you things, but in order to actually learn something you need to practice it. To have the thing you want you have to actually do the thing you want.

If you’re wondering why you’re not in a relationship even though you want to be, you really need to look at all the ways you are benefiting by being alone. I can think of one thing…

What’s amazing about being in a romantic relationship is that you’re forced to grow. What’s scary as sh*t about being in a romantic relationship is that you’re forced to grow!

There’s no way around it – if you want an enriched romantic relationship with the partner who’s your rightest match you’re going to have to grow yourself through it. It’s easier said than done. That’s why I stayed alone and apart for so long – I wasn’t ready for that level of intimacy with anybody, least of all myself.

If you’re like I was, really ready to meet your rightest match and yet not taking the actions you know you need to take, you might really need a coach to help you move from where you are now to where you want to be.

Get yourself on my calendar. Find out what’s holding you back and I promise you’ll find yourself in the process.


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