What Do You Really Need?

Why do you want to be in a romantic relationship? If you say it’s so you’ll have a partner to do things with, do things for you, or do things for, I want you to ask yourself why.

Because the answer isn’t just so you’ll have a partner to do things with, do things for you or do things for.

You don’t want things simply to have them. Like everything else that people do, you want things because of how you think having them will make you feel.

Think back to the things you’ve wanted men to do for you – “Call me first thing in the morning. Message me last thing at night. Tell me you love me.”

Perhaps you felt appreciated when he called. Reassured when he sent a txt. Loved when he said he loved you.

Those feelings came from what you made those actions mean. If what you need is to feel appreciated or reassured or loved those feelings have nothing to do with a phone call, a txt or a sentence. They have everything to do with the significance you assign to them.

The significance you assign… your thought about what he did or said.

So, what do you really need? Not, what do your friends say they need. Not, what does your cousin say you deserve. Not, what does that book of rules say you ought to ask for – what do you really need?

If you want to ensure that your needs are met, first be very clear with yourself about exactly what it is that you are seeking. That’s the absolute first step in getting it.

The second step is knowing what to do with your answer.

When you’re ready to get your true needs met and you don’t know how to do that on your own, I’ll be right here.