Are You Repeating Your Patterns in Love Again? Still? Let Yourself Get Off the Merry-Go-Round and Start Fresh!

Let’s talk about the ‘but…’

Last week I talked about patterns. No matter how aware we might be as people, we usually aren’t aware of what is at the root of what stops us from creating the things that we truly desire. Like doing the same thing in the same way and getting the same result over and over, even though we want something different. It’s a pattern that is a protective mechanism for sure, the way we don’t have to risk discovering something we think would cause discomfort or worse, shame.

What’s the reason for them? Where and how do they start and most important – how the heck can you break the pattern that keeps happening and start getting what you really, really want in your life? One way is to acknowledge that patterns don’t just ‘happen’ they are the result of your actions.

If you are someone who has always taken pride in figuring everything out for yourself, no matter how long it takes, then that’s not just a point of pride – that in itself is a pattern! Tricky, right? And that is a key to not figuring out your other patterns, because as much as we can know ourselves we can’t always see ourselves.

It just keeps happening.

Are you someone who has always lost yourself for the pursuit of love? Do you find yourself repeatedly in relationships in which you are the caregiver or you always end up doing whatever your partner wants to do and never what you want? You may have the belief that it’s ‘who you are.’ You may think that you only attract partners who are unable to take care of themselves or their finances or their relationships or those who are controlling, and yet …  

You are not simply attracting a type who you then ‘have to’ take care of or acquiesce to – you are making choices that you are not seeing as choices and this is where you are giving up your power. You are taking actions that you don’t understand how to control and repeatedly create the very outcome you want to avoid. The things you do are not who you are.

I can save you a whole lot of time. Time, it’s that thing you always wish you had more of! But only if you click here:

What do patterns have to do with power?

If you believe that you are just who you are, and you also believe that your experience of life is outside of your control these are two thought patterns that have diminished your power. And just like I always say – this is exciting news!

It’s exciting because it’s not your past partners or the structure of the relationships that caused you to lose yourself with no hope of recovery! Your not having control did not come from outside of you. It’s choices you were making and actions you were taking and when you learn how to make consciously different choices and take consciously different actions you will create a totally different outcome! 

Is something resonating with you but you don’t know how to put it into action? Click on this link to schedule your 20-minute free call with me.

It’s not like anything I’ve ever heard before. It feels so wrong.

One of the patterns I used to have is that when I was in a relationship and I was happy with the person and could see potential for us down the road I would soon get a sense that something was very wrong. It didn’t feel like fear or intuition, it felt like dread. 

I wouldn’t talk to anybody, I wouldn’t ask anybody, I wouldn’t look it up and see if anybody beside me had ever had this feeling – I would just decide on my own that if it seemed wrong it must be wrong and I would quit. I’d either tell him flat out I didn’t want to go out anymore or I’d start acting in ways that would make him want to break up with me. (Another pattern I had was to date guys who eventually started treating me really badly so I would break up with them. Those are the ones who I fought to stay with.)

Notice I said I decided all these things on my own. Because in my twenties and thirties I had to figure out everything on my own. Because I couldn’t ask for help. Because … honestly, now I can’t imagine wasting as much time as I did, years and years of my life doing only as much as I knew in my own brain to do. But then it seemed vitally important. It was a point of pride to not ask for help, to not seek guidance from someone who’d been down the path at least a few steps ahead of me.

That pattern of pride cost me a lot of time and heartache and exhaustion. 

This is so exciting because it’s about you and for you right now! If you want your life to change you need to be willing to take one conscious step toward changing your life.

Here’s how I can help: Are you ready to actually have the relationship you want? Let’s do this! Click on this link to schedule your personal, 20-minute video call with me. You have nothing to spend and so much to gain: