Do you think being married and living in a house with a white picket fence means you have love?
I did. And the weird thing is, I don’t even like white picket fences. I love stone and adobe for the sense of solidness and permanence and nature that they project. Pickets always strike me as flimsy and fake. Why would I have spent so many years equating something I saw as unsubstantial and unnatural as the representation of love?
Because it was the story I was told, and being a good girl, an excellent student, I learned what I was taught and did what I was told. Have you been an excellent student all your life too?
My life changed the day I realized that I got to decide what love looks like for me. I can have all the love in my life that I desire, because I choose it, actively – I don’t wait for it to come to me in the form of someone else’s story. I get to write my own story and go out and create it.
What does love really look like to you?
Is Prince Charming the man of your dreams?
There are Princes William and Daniel and Frederik and Albert, but I’ve never heard of a real, live, breathing, walking, talking prince named Charming – and yet he was my model for husbandliness for so long!
I think he was so attractive because he didn’t do any of those things. He didn’t breathe, so he couldn’t snore. He didn’t walk, so I wouldn’t have to follow 10 steps behind. He didn’t talk so he couldn’t ever disagree with me! Since he isn’t real my life would have been a complete fantasy. And so would yours.
But I finally realized that’s exactly what my life was. Instead of being in a loving, committed, enriched romantic relationship with a real man who was my right match, I was alone with my fantasy that the perfect man exists somewhere and I just hadn’t found him – yet.
If you’re like me, you’ve gone out on dates with men who weren’t perfect and decided that they weren’t for you because of that. But here’s the thing, all real men are, well, real. They’re all human. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that humans are perfectly imperfect. I like to think it’s part of our charm!
I want to help you create the enriched romantic relationship you desire – for real. And part of that will involve you embracing a man’s quirks and imperfections. For you to meet your right match you get to decide for yourself what makes him Mr. Right instead of all the reasons you think he’s wrong.
Here’s one way to do that – think of all the little quirks and imperfections you may not appreciate about yourself, but that your friends tell you make you quintessentially you.
And then consider that a man’s quirks and imperfections are the things that make him quintessentially him. You are not like any other woman in the world and it’s those little things that make you so unique. Would you rather continue to be alone with your fantasy of perfection or be with a man who has his own unique charms?
Something really useful in order for you to embrace a man’s imperfections is to first embrace your own. What do you think about that?
Is something resonating with you but you don’t know how to begin to put it into action? Click on this link to schedule your 20-minute free call with me. https://lenaecoachsession.as.me/
Have you ever allowed yourself to decide what love looks like to you?
I’ll admit I have had to work at this. It hasn’t come with a snap of the fingers or a blink of an eye for me to fully own my vision for my life, for my home, for what love looks like to me. And now that I have, I can have more love in my life than I’ve ever had before. And I do.
I think that you probably already have a good idea of what you want in your life and you have created at least some parts of it already. Perhaps you’ve got a successful career, a loving family, a healthy lifestyle, but you feel a lack in your romantic relationships that you’d like to fill. In order to not only fill it, but fulfill yourself in it, it will be most helpful for you to see it clearly and then go toward it.