You Wouldn’t Know a Green Flag if it Bit You on the … Nose!

You Don’t See the Red Flags Until You’re Drowning in Them 

If you have been in a relationship for a few weeks, months or years and then are ‘suddenly’ confronted by a man who is nothing like the one you thought you knew, you are missing the red flags that have been waving all along the way.

Whether it was something they said or did – action – or the way they said or did it – behavior – or the fact that their words didn’t match their actions – hello, that’s called lying – there was something you didn’t see or chose to ignore.

I’ve heard that if, after a relationship ends, you go back through your memory bank, you’ll realize that the ultimate cause of the breakup originally came up within the first two weeks of dating. 2 weeks! 

All the Men You Meet Are Red Flag Traps 

Have you not been in any kind of relationship for a really long time because you only meet men who wave one red flag after another? Do you have a hard time believing that a truly nice, stable, balanced, loving man exists?

If you perceive every action, every behavior – every look, shrug, txt or lack of response – as a problem, an indication of trouble ahead and you have to bail out now to save yourself, well then, you will never be able to create any kind of connection with any man – and relationships are about connection.

Rather than writing him off from the start, allow yourself to entertain the possibility that he is being honest, that he has both of your best interests at heart and that he is doing the best he can in the moment – until you get enough information so that you can draw a valid, useful conclusion that might lead you to believe otherwise. Look at the patterns, and remember that at the very, very beginning of meeting someone – you don’t have a pattern to draw from.

If you want to make a change and you just don’t know how to start let’s talk.  

Red Flag, Green Flag, You, Yourself, Him 

My clients and I talk a lot more about green flags than red ones. They know that when they’ve had a first phone call, or been on a first date with someone new, I’m going to ask them to tell me 3 things they liked about him. And it can be anything at all.

Maybe you like his eyes, or his clothes or the restaurant he chose. And maybe you then go on in this vein and realize you laughed together, had so many things in common that your conversation flowed and you could easily talk for hours more!

Actively seeking what you like on a date, what you like about a man, is looking for the green flags. This conscious action moves you forward into feeling more comfortable and having fun and when you have fun on a date it’s much more likely that you’ll both want to see each other again. 

Is something resonating with you but you’re feeling weird about taking action? Click on this link to schedule your 20-minute free call with me.  

Be willing to take one small step to propel yourself into the loving partnership you desire!

Here’s how I can help: Do you want to have more love in your life, especially full-on, joyous romantic love and you don’t know how to start? Click on this link to schedule your personal call with me.