Change In Relationship to You

How do I want to show up?

That’s the question I’ve been asking myself for a long time, and especially in these weeks of protests against the systemic, continual mistreatment of black people in the criminal justice system. As I said last week, this is uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable to feel our own emotions and some people think it’s even worse to be confronted with other people’s emotions. (Read last week’s blog here: )

As I also said, you must be uncomfortable to grow. Change is disruptive and uncomfortable. If it wasn’t it wouldn’t be change. Humans are motivated to do the things we do, to get the things we want, because of the way we think we’ll feel – the way we hope we’ll feel – once we’ve done or gotten the thing. If you were in a different place than you are now, if you were in a different relationship or business or body size and you didn’t feel different you wouldn’t think it was different. And in order to feel at all different that entails making a change.

The thing to remember is that no matter what is happening around you, no matter where you are or what others are doing you get to choose how you show up. You do not ever have to do or say or be what anyone else thinks you should, and you don’t ever have to react with a particular behavior. The way you show up in the world is totally up to you and within your control. Although, if you’ve never been taught that you probably don’t know how to make it happen.

If you want to create change in your relationships or in yourself, and you don’t know how to start, please schedule a time for us to speak.  

How do I want to feel? 

If you want to create a different outcome for yourself, if you are single and you want to be married, if you are fat and you want to be thin, it’s because you think you will feel different – better – when you have created that change. 

Being a human, you’ve been taught to look at your life through a filter of what you don’t have and then compare yourself to all the people who have those things and seem so happy. So you then draw a conclusion that the thing that is making those other people happy is the very thing you don’t have. What you need to know is if you feel sad it’s perfectly reasonable to want to feel happy – but if you’re sad and also happen to be single, simply being married will not make you happy. If your body is larger than you’d like simply losing weight will not make you love yourself, because if you’re anything like I used to be, once the weight comes off you’ll start worrying about keeping it off and being scared that it will come back, and eventually that’s all you’ll be thinking about – not happy.

What the diets never tell you: if you want to lose weight and keep it off for good without ever feeling deprived, please schedule a time for us to speak.  

What can I do about it?

If you are sad and also happen to be single please know you don’t have to wait until you’re married to be happy. As a matter of fact, it’s much more likely that you will be able to begin a fulfilling, enriched, romantic relationship with a quality man when you are already happy. Think about this  –  would you rather date a man who’s happy and fun to be with or one who expects you to make him happy?

If you think your weight is the cause of your sadness please know you don’t have to wait until you’re thin to feel good about yourself. It’s been my personal experience that my weight didn’t come off and stay off for good until I lifted the mental weight I was carrying around for so long. I was never able to lose enough weight to love myself; I had to love myself enough to lose the weight.

I am certified as both a Life and Weight Coach and I will gladly share with you all that I have been taught, and have experienced and created in my own life transformation.

If you want to create change in your life and you don’t know how to start, please schedule a time for us to speak.