“Failure isn’t tolerated here.” That’s a mantra that causes countless people of all ages to think there’s something wrong with them for not knowing everything and ultimately to feel shame because of it. Shame is not an emotion that will fuel positive action.
Aren’t we all here to learn things we don’t already know? And doesn’t failure simply mean you didn’t know something? If you have to know everything they’re teaching in school before you get to school why go to school?
You are in the school of life, the school of family dynamics, the school of building a business, romantic relationship or parenting. Please stop blaming and shaming yourself for not already knowing how to do it. Please stop feeling like there’s something wrong with you. That’s what’s stopping you from learning how to do it. That’s what’s stopping you from being in it.
Not everything they taught us in school is true. Failure must be tolerated here.
You can’t just say that you had a failure and you won’t let it happen again.
You can’t power through this because it’s not about a lack of willpower, it’s about your willingness to self-examine.
If you don’t examine what you did and decide what to do differently the next time, not only will you risk making the same or a similar ‘mistake’ you might not even make another attempt because your inner voice might steer you away from even trying. But you won’t know why.
Being willing to look at the failure is the way we ‘learn from our mistakes.’ Otherwise there’s not learning, there’s only refraining or repeating.
You must be willing and able to go back and read that paper that got an ‘F’ so that you can see what you didn’t do properly so that you can do it better the next time. If you only stuff it in a drawer because you can’t bear the shame of it you’re missing the lesson.
The same with the business ventures, the ads that didn’t convert, the business partnership that didn’t bring intended riches.
It’s the same with relationships that come to an end. If every time a relationship ends all you do is complain about what was wrong with him you are missing the lesson. You are missing the opportunity to learn from what you keep doing, so that the next time you can do things differently and create a different result.
Your refusal to self-examine after a relationship has ended is the reason you keep dating “the same man with a different face.” The failure is not that the relationship ended, it’s that you are failing to employ the tool that will change your results.
I want you to know that the most effective way to get to the heart of this issue is to have a coach like me help you. Quickly finding the root of what’s going on with you so you can start changing it right away – it’s what I’m trained to do.
When you’re really, really ready to have the thing you really, really want and you’re ready to get help to achieve it at last, I’m only a click away!
If these ideas resonate with you and you’re ready to change your life contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can schedule a free, 25-minute phone call.
Right now, take a moment and affirm for yourself:
I only fail when I fail to learn and move myself forward!