Smart girl, today I’m throwing down the gauntlet.
I’m challenging your idea of not wanting to waste time with a man who’s “not a good fit” for you. Come on, you know you’ve said it at least once in your life. And if you’re over 45 you’ve said it more than that.
As if not spending time with men you won’t marry will add more hours to your day or years to your life.
As if interacting with another human being can be a waste of time.
What is it you think you’ll gain by not dating men who aren’t your right fit until you find the man who is? If your only intention on a date is to find out if he’s your husband you’re doing it wrong.
What if it’s not, either this man is my future husband or I’ve “wasted my time?”
I used to say I’d rather be home on a Saturday night with a good book than be out with someone who wasn’t “right” for me.
I don’t say that anymore. I’m so grateful I’ve learned it’s a lie. I’m so grateful I’ve learned that spending time with other humans is a privilege and that the more I bring to the exchange the more I’ll reap.
Oh, sure, I might learn something from reading that book, but what am I learning about myself? The learning that comes from a book is passive – growing myself up is active! How am I growing myself into the woman I want to be in the relationship I want to have by reading a book?
How else do I learn that a man isn’t a “jerk” – your word not mine – just because he’s talking a little too much about work or sports, but simply because he’s out of the practice of dating?
How else do I learn to be articulate, fun and feminine (yes, really, all three at once!) without feeling like a robot?
How else do I learn that not “all men are narcissists” (again, your word not mine and way too overused in our society today) simply because they fail to ask questions about me? Maybe he’s out of practice, maybe he’s preoccupied, maybe he’s, oh I don’t know … human.
Ultimately, how do I learn to treat other human beings with kindness and compassion by reading a book?
I’ve said it before – I learn from doing, from practicing, from applying what I’ve been taught. And I bet you do, too.
If you want to read a book about relationships, great! Then you can go out into the real world and put into practice what you’ve read.
When you’re really, really ready to have the thing you really, really want and you’re ready to get help to achieve it at last, I’m only a click away.
If these ideas resonate with you and you’re ready to change your life contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can schedule a free, 20 minute phone call.
Right now, take a moment and affirm for yourself:
I’ll read a book when I’m retired, tonight I’m goin’ OUT!