Recently a friend said to me, “The perfection is in the process.”
If you see no value in process – if you only ever want results and think everything else is simply waiting, you will wind up thinking you’re wasting your time. And if you spend time thinking you’re wasting your time you’ll start to feel bored and frustrated and think that it’s life causing your feelings.
What is the purpose of dating? I believe every relationship, every interaction in which you engage with another human, whether romantic, platonic, business or familial is to grow yourself up – the ultimate purpose of our time here. In fact, it’s a golden opportunity to learn about you, which is the first step in growing. It is not just for meeting your husband.
If you go on a date and get angry because he’s not Mr. Right, then feel like you wasted that time that’s when you waste your time! You are shutting down your opportunity to learn – about him about the date and about you. And – you’re wasting your opportunity to figure out how to create different results.
You don’t have a husband yet because you are not yet the wife you want to be. If you were you’d be married already. And if you don’t stop getting angry because you think the dating process is a painful waste of time you will never be her.
Do you think that when you finally meet your man you will be exactly the way you have to be then? Or do you think you’ll be exactly the way you are now? The point of any process is to evolve into the person you need to be to create the result you want. But you can’t create the result you want then, you can only create the result you want then now.
Are you searching for a partner like you’re shopping for shoes or a purse? Are you looking for an accessory, a man who looks like you want him to look and will fit into and around your life as it is now? Or are you looking for a whole other person with whom you can create a life together? If you envision him accompanying you to every one of the events in your life and dropping everything to keep you company whenever you feel blue – but you don’t want to have to deal with his ‘complications’ i.e. life, you’re looking at a man as an accessory.
The value of the process of dating and being in relationships prior to marriage is that you get to see your own thoughts, feelings and behavior and you get to evaluate whether or not they’re serving you. If they’re not, you get to decide how you want to show up in the world and then become the woman who shows up that way.
When you’re really, really ready to have the thing you really, really want and you’re ready to get help to achieve it at last, I’m only a click away!
If these ideas resonate with you and you’re ready to change your life contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can schedule a free, 20 minute phone call.
Right now, take a moment and affirm for yourself:
I’m in no rush to get to the finish; I know the process will perfect me!