What if you don’t have the things you want because you don’t believe you can have them? Why don’t you believe you can have them?
You don’t believe in yourself because you don’t trust yourself.
You think that you can’t have something because, based on your history, you’re simply incapable of having it. Smart Girl, you’re not simply incapable of anything. You are totally capable of achieving anything you want to create for yourself! It’s simply that you’ve never learned how to do it.
What you have learned how to do is blame and shame yourself for not having been born thin and rich without a care in the world or a pore on your face, so you’ve spent your life using diets and masks trying to change the outside – and the place you need to start is on the inside. There’s no mask for that. (For more about the masks we all wear, read: https://lenaehrenberg.com/2018/10/31/drop-the-mask/ )
I’m here to help you on the inside.
Let’s say you’re trying to lose weight. In all the years of dieting, when things got tough at home or at work or in your mind, and you felt uncomfortable, you didn’t always stick to the plan, did you? You had thoughts like, “It’s just a little bite. It’s just a taste. I’ll just have one. I’ve had such a hard day. I deserve this. ”
And over time those thoughts became more intrusive, to the point where you spent more time cheating on your plan than eating on it.
And then the thought that became most prevalent was, “It doesn’t matter. I might as well eat whatever I want because I never lose weight anyway. I can’t lose weight. I’m incapable of losing weight. I’m incapable of having what I want.”
See how that works? No, really, do you see?
In the moments when you really needed yourself you ghosted.
In the moments when you really needed yourself to have your own back, to be the grownup in the room, to stick to the plan – you didn’t.
What happens to you when you discover someone’s cheated on you? Do you trust him? I’ll answer that – NO, you do not.
What happens when you don’t trust someone? Do you believe the things he says he’ll do? I’ll answer that – NO, you do not.
What happens when you don’t believe the things someone says he’ll do? Do you calmly accept everything he says as fact and go merrily along your way? I’ll answer that – NO, you do not.
You don’t believe he’s doing what he says and you look for evidence of what you think he’s really doing. And we always find what we look for.
No matter where he says he’s going or what he says he’s doing you think that he’s lying and still cheating. You’re basing that thought on history – and that’s what you do to yourself when you “try” another diet based on all the years of not showing up for yourself.
You weren’t just cheating on your diet. You were cheating on yourself.
It’s time for you to rebuild the trust you’ve lost. It’s the only way for you to have the loving relationship with yourself that is the bedrock of every other relationship you’ll ever create.
The only relationship we are guaranteed to have, “’til death do we part” is the one we have with ourselves. Treat yourself the way you want your friends to treat you. Treat yourself the way you want your boyfriend to treat you. Treat yourself the way you want your husband to treat you.
When you’re ready to really, really have the thing you really, really want and you’re ready to get help to achieve it at last, I’m only a click away!
If these ideas resonate with you and you’re ready to change your life contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can schedule a free, 20 minute phone call.
Right now, take a moment and affirm for yourself:
I trust myself.