What is the point of a romantic relationship?
I believe that they occur for the same reason any other relationship does – so that each one of us can grow. Every situation we encounter in life has the potential to be a lesson for us and the other people involved our teachers.
If we’re open (to learning) and honest (with ourselves) and vulnerable (ah, there’s a scary word!), each relationship, each interaction, really, will take us further along the road to what I think is the ultimate in self-improvement – true self-love.
It only works out this way if we allow ourselves to honestly see our part, take responsibility for what truly is our stuff, and change our behavior. All too often we don’t. Do you?
When a relationship has ended do you immediately blame him for everything that went wrong? Do your friends, in a display of misguided solidarity, tell you what they always thought was wrong with him and how you’re better off? Or,
Do you immediately blame yourself? Do you spin for hours over everything you said and did looking for the one thing that you ought to have done differently? (This is not honestly seeing your part; it is destructive to your ability to see your part)
Neither of these is helpful if your goal is to create better, healthier, happier relationships in the future.
Have you ever allowed yourself the time and space for the heated feelings to dissipate before you honestly evaluate the interactions you had and what you might learn in hindsight?
After a breakup a Smart Girl might say she understands what happened and leave it at that; a Wise Woman will seek to understand and then learn to change her behavior so that she doesn’t repeat the same mistakes again.
One thing I’ve learned in the last few years is that I’ve never really learned something by being taught it; I’ve only ever truly learned something by putting it into practice.
We’re on the cusp of a Brand New Year! Infinite possibilities, opportunities to start anew and create different results! How will you change? How will you grow? How will next year be different from this one?
Will next year be the year you’ll Have More Love?
I know you can do it! I also know you will feel so much better on the other side! And if you need help, I’m only a click away.
Do you desire more love in your life? You can have more love!
Do you want to have more fun dating? You can have more fun!
Don’t know where to start or how to get to the next rung of the relationship ladder? I would love to help! Please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can schedule a free, 20 minute phone call so that you can tell me what you believe is holding you back and I can offer you at least one, specific, action you can take that will change your results.
What if today is the day you take an action that propels you forward into the rest of your happy, loving, romantic life!
Right now, take a moment and affirm for yourself:
In every moment I practice, I learn, I grow, I love myself!