When I lose weight I’ll be happy.
When I have a boyfriend I’ll be happy.
When I get married I’ll be happy.
When I have a better job I’ll be happy.
When I have my own business I’ll be happy.
Do any of these statements sound familiar?
Happiness isn’t magic. Okay, it’s magical, but it’s not magic. You don’t blink your eyes or twitch your nose and suddenly feel happy.
Have you ever woken up the day after a birthday and felt very different than you did the day before? Probably not. It’s the same thing with losing weight – you might feel smaller but you’ll still feel like you.
Especially if you’re a you who hasn’t learned how to deal effectively with any of the issues that caused you to overeat in the first place. It won’t matter that you’re wearing a smaller size dress if your neighbors expect you to always drive carpool and your siblings expect you to chauffeur mom to all her doctors’ appointments all while your boss expects you to stay as late as necessary to cover everyone else’s vacations. (That bag of Double-stuff Oreos is looking better and better, isn’t it?)
Same goes for the boyfriend or the marriage. You won’t feel instantaneously happy, you will feel weird, strange, odd, off-balance, off-kilter, however you explain it when it’s all terribly different, because after all these years (and for many of us it truly is years) it’s not just you anymore, there’s an entirely other human being waking up next to you – and he doesn’t think that a bite of leftover spaghetti and a Frappuccino counts as breakfast. (I know, weird, right? That’s what I said…)
Having a better job doesn’t make you happy, being happy will get you a better job. And – old joke – What do you call people who believe that starting a business will make them happy immediately? Employees!
The thing is, Smart Girl, you need to learn to be happy now. Right here, right now, where you are, while you’re doing what you’re doing and with whom you’re doing it. Happiness is not about things or places or people, it’s about what you’re thinking and believing and feeling about yourself in relation to those things, places and people. Your ability to be happy depends on how you are willing to be.
Then, when you’ve got the happiness thing down you can move it around to any situation, location or circumstance. And you will move right along with it!
I know you can do it! I also know you will feel so much better on the other side! And if you need help, I’m only a click away.
Do you desire more love in your life? You can have more love!
Do you want to have more fun dating? You can have more fun!
Don’t know where to start or how to get to the next rung of the relationship ladder? I would love to help! Please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can schedule a free, 20 minute phone call so that you can tell me what you believe is holding you back and I can offer you at least one, specific, action you can take that will change your results.
What if today is the day you take an action that propels you forward into the rest of your happy, loving, romantic life!
Right now, take a moment and affirm for yourself:
My happiness starts with me – and I choose to be happy!