When I was dating online I noticed that a lot of men posted photos that were not great. Some were taken from too far a distance, or they were out of focus, or he was wearing a cap and sunglasses (what’s up with that?) or – the ones I really couldn’t understand – there were two men in the pic. Um, which one are you? I would occasionally come across a photo that I thought was so good – a photo that said, “This is who I am.” And usually his profile was just as direct and well written.

There was one man in particular who, based on his pictures and profile I really wanted to get to know better – until I saw that he was separated. I personally don’t date men who are separated and not yet divorced. I know there are a lot of people who do, and that’s the point of why I’m writing this. I decided to do what I always did online with men who I thought were great yet not great for me – I messaged him and said that I thought his pictures and profile were the best I’d seen in a really long time and I was sorry that I wasn’t going to meet him because I don’t date men who are separated. I wished him great success in his search for love and said that based on the little I already knew about him I knew he’d find it.

He wrote back a day later, thanked me and said I wasn’t the first woman who’d told him his status made him un-dateable. That statement startled me. I never said he was un-dateable, I said that I chose not to date men who are separated.

How many times have you allowed someone else’s preferences to define you? Have you ever believed you were too fat, too thin, too smart, too stupid, too loud, too mousy, too much or not enough of … something, anything, because a man had a preference for something (someone) different?

What if, rather than declaring, “I’m un-dateable” he declared, “Maybe you don’t date men who are separated so I’ll meet women who do.

Rather than making yourself wrong based on a man’s preferences, what’s your declaration about your value, your qualities, your self? Say it loud and proud – “Maybe you don’t date women who are just like me, so I’ll meet men who do!” And you will!

I know you can do it! I also know you will feel so much better on the other side! And if you need help, I’m only a click away.

Do you desire more love in your life? You can have more love!

Do you want to have more fun dating? You can have more fun!Don’t know where to start or how to get to the next rung of the relationship ladder? I would love to help! Please contact me at info@lenaehrenberg.com and we can schedule a free, 20 minute phone call so that you can tell me what you believe is holding you back and I can offer you at least one, specific, action you can take that will change your results.

What if today is the day you take an action that propels you forward into the rest of your happy, loving, romantic life!

Right now, take a moment and affirm to yourself:

I define myself by who I am, not by other people’s preferences!