In a recent interview Elizabeth Gilbert used the term ‘self-loathing.’ It’s not something we usually say about ourselves, right? Even though we attack, belittle and undermine ourselves, and practice insidious forms of self-sabotage, we don’t identify our own negative actions as being the result of our feelings of self-loathing – they simply are.
And while we talk about the concept of loving ourselves and we use the phrase self-love many of us don’t actually feel it and we don’t often say that we, or others, are filled with self-loving.
Now, I know there are some people who think self-love means being egotistical or narcissistic –it does not mean either of those things. As a matter of fact, I believe that egotism and narcissism are two disguises worn by insecurity to try and cover its tracks and are the opposite of true self-love.
Self-love is something you have and also something you do. It’s vital to the happy, healthy, lifelong relationship you are building with … yourself! And if you don’t yet, it’s something you can learn to have and do. Would you rather have a relationship with someone who is happy, healthy, positive, prosperous, generous and compassionate or someone who is – not? Especially when that relationship is truly, ‘til death do us part!
Our results do not determine how we feel about ourselves – how we feel about ourselves determines our results. If you’re waiting until you’re happy to love yourself you’ll be waiting a very long time. Especially if you’re waiting until you lose weight, get a better job, have a romantic relationship, publish your novel, whatever it is you think you need to achieve, to be happy! You must love yourself first – fill yourself with gobs of self-loving – and your sense of happiness will follow. Then the weight will come off (and stay off) and the job, the relationship, the novel will all fall in line, because you will be in alignment with your true, loving, lovable self.
Let’s start a movement of happy, healthy, positive, prosperous, generous, compassionate people who are full to the brim with self-loving and know it!
Do you desire more love in your life? You can have more love!
Do you want to have more fun dating? You can have more fun!
Don’t know where to start or how to get to the next rung of the relationship ladder? I would love to help! Please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can schedule a free, 20 minute phone call so that you can tell me what you believe is holding you back and I can offer you at least one, specific, action you can take that will change your results.
What if today is the day you take an action that propels you forward into the rest of your happy, loving, romantic life!
Right now, take a moment and affirm to yourself:
I’m full to the brim with self-love!