Why do you date?
Really, I’m serious – why do you date? I can hear you right now saying, Um, Lena, if I don’t date I’ll never get married and I want to get married.
Now, let me ask you this –Do you have fun going online to see who ‘likes’ you and who you might like? Do you have fun going to bars and clubs or the Laundromat, to see who you might meet ‘organically?’ Do you have fun while on dates? Do you enjoy the process of dating?
Through personal experience I’ve discovered a secret Law of the Universe that has radically changed my romantic interactions and ultimately, my life, and it’s changing my clients’ and friends’ lives for the better as well!
Date to date, not to get married.
I don’t mean that you sign up for ‘short-term dating’ or ‘hookups,’ I mean that you honor each step in relationship building as its own important, standalone component in the process, give it the attention and respect it deserves and enjoy it in the moment. I promise you that you will have a lot more fun dating if you treat your dates as fun things you get to do rather than dreaded impositions you need to get through to get to the goal.
You can’t date because you want to get married someday. Well, you can, but that’s the way you’re doing it now and you’re not having much fun, are you? You don’t have fun dating because you decide on the first date that this guy’s not your husband and it goes downhill from there. Here’s a truth – in that moment he’s not supposed to be your husband, he’s supposed to be your date.
I want you to have as much fun dating as I do, not just hope it’ll all be fun after you say I do! I want you to enjoy the entire process, feel desired, feel joy, wallow in the abundance of good men in the world! And one way to do this is to be open to allowing this man to be who he’s supposed to be.
How? Go on dates with men not because you think each might be your husband, go on dates with men because you think each might be a fun date – date only because you’re interested in finding out more about that man, because you have things in common, because you’ll have fun doing whatever activity is decided upon – that’s it. Set the intention that you will enjoy the date and the best way I know to do that is to look for reasons to enjoy it. Gather all the positive evidence you can – look for the good – in him, in the location, in the circumstances – look for the good everywhere. (Here’s another secret: I’m experiencing incredible joy all the way around as I’ve done this in all aspects of my life, not just dating!)
My clients know that when they’ve been on a date the first question I’m going to ask them is – What three things did you like about him?
Because here’s the thing about us humans – when left unattended our thoughts seem to wander into the Land of Negativity. If we don’t take control of them and turn them in the direction we want to wind up, they’ll take us down a path we never intended to follow.
Do you desire more love in your life? You can have more love!
Do you want to have more fun dating? You can have more fun!
Don’t know where to start or how to get to the next rung of the relationship ladder? I would love to help! Please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can schedule a free, 20 minute phone call so that you can tell me what you believe is holding you back and I can offer you at least one, specific, action you can take that will change your results.
What if today is the day you take an action that propels you forward into the rest of your happy, loving, romantic life!
Right now, take a moment and affirm to yourself:
I always find what I’m looking for – and it’s all good!