Move Forward Into Your Relationships

What do you wish you could change?

We’re living in an unprecedented moment of possibility, not only in this country, in the world. We are living in a time when we are being urged to stay in our homes in order to protect our physical health from a pandemic and being urged to take to the streets to put an end to the system that has protected the perpetrators of systemic racism and violence against Black people. It is, in short, a reckoning.

One definition of reckoning is: the action or process of calculating or estimating something. Some of us do this; have a moment or many moments of reckoning every day, although it may not seem as monumental as what we’re confronting now. And yet, when we spend our time wishing things had been different it stalls our progress, it holds us back, it keeps us stuck.

If you are dwelling on a choice you made then that you regret now, be honest with yourself – are you stuck? Is it holding you in the past rather than allowing you to live fully in the present? And perhaps most importantly – are you not moving forward because you don’t trust yourself to make choices for your future?

Do you want to create a change in your relationships or in yourself, and you don’t know how to start? Please schedule a time for us to speak.  https://lenaecoachsession.as.me/  

What do you think ought to have been different? 

I’m originally from New York, and after my mother passed away my dad moved out to the west coast, not very far from where I was living. We saw each other regularly. When he first moved here he was fit, very able to walk or take the bus to wherever he wanted to go and he spent his days exploring. When he became ill he was admitted into the hospital, and after a few weeks was sent to a rehabilitation center. 

This wasn’t the first time I’d sat with him in the emergency room for hours. I saw him every day in the hospital, sometimes only for an hour, sometimes for 2. I saw him every day in the rehab facility, again, sometimes only for an hour. I had the feeling that it was going to be a long haul and I intended to be there every day, so I figured out how and when I could do it and still maintain the activities I was obligated to perform – among them was working a job so I could support myself. There were days I spent more time in traffic than I did with him, but I told myself at least I’d been there.

The doctors told me he wouldn’t be able to go back to his own apartment. I automatically asked him if he wanted us to live together and he said yes. So I started to look for a new, larger place and figure out how to merge our two households. After only a few days I realized this was not the right answer. He needed a level of care I was not able to provide and the case worker agreed with me. She gave me a list of nursing facilities that she thought would be a good fit for him, and I started to visit them.

Then it felt like this wasn’t the right answer either. I was thoroughly conflicted, and yet I knew the day would come when my dad would be released from this center and he’d need a place to land. And it felt like my job to provide that for him.

He never asked me about the plans for our moving in together. I tried to talk to him about other facilities and he wasn’t interested in hearing about that. He was acting more and more unsettled, so I just kept visiting places and talking to professionals and keeping up the commitment I’d made to myself to be there every day. Not all day, but at least some part of every day.

Shortly after that, after about 6 weeks in total in the rehab center, I got a call in the middle of the night that my dad had passed away in his sleep. 

What do you really believe?

That was 13 years ago last week and there are moments I still relive it. What if I hadn’t offered to have us live together without thinking it all the way through first? What if I had found a lovely facility and moved him into it quicker? What if he’d been sent to a different rehab center with different doctors (i.e. different advice) in the first place? Would he have been happier? Would he have been more willing to participate in conversations about his care? 

Honestly, what I’m really asking myself is – if I’d done something different would my dad have passed away when he did? Because  that’s the ultimate thing, right? Would he have lived longer, would he still be with us now even, if anything had been different then?

Here’s something I’ve realized over time; as humans we spend a lot of time looking both forward and back. We stand in this present moment and look back on a choice that we made and believe with absolute certainty that if we’d only made the other choice everything would have been better. We made the wrong choice and the other choice would have been the right one! 

Or, we stand in this present moment faced with a choice we have to make for our future and can only see what’s wrong with either option. We can’t find an upside to either one. And so we do nothing, because for some reason we don’t understand that not choosing is a choice. 

How come the crystal ball tells us the past could have been good but the future can’t possibly be? I can’t know that. Dwelling on it doesn’t help me live in the present, and it certainly doesn’t help me move forward and live my life fully into the future. And dwelling on whatever your thing is isn’t helping you move forward either. 

I am certified as both a Life and Weight Coach and I will gladly share with you all that I have been taught, and have experienced and created in my own life transformation.

If you want to stop dwelling on something from your past so you can start living your life and you don’t know how to start, please schedule a time for us to speak.  https://lenaecoachsession.as.me/ 

Change In Relationship to You

How do I want to show up?

That’s the question I’ve been asking myself for a long time, and especially in these weeks of protests against the systemic, continual mistreatment of black people in the criminal justice system. As I said last week, this is uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable to feel our own emotions and some people think it’s even worse to be confronted with other people’s emotions. (Read last week’s blog here: )

As I also said, you must be uncomfortable to grow. Change is disruptive and uncomfortable. If it wasn’t it wouldn’t be change. Humans are motivated to do the things we do, to get the things we want, because of the way we think we’ll feel – the way we hope we’ll feel – once we’ve done or gotten the thing. If you were in a different place than you are now, if you were in a different relationship or business or body size and you didn’t feel different you wouldn’t think it was different. And in order to feel at all different that entails making a change.

The thing to remember is that no matter what is happening around you, no matter where you are or what others are doing you get to choose how you show up. You do not ever have to do or say or be what anyone else thinks you should, and you don’t ever have to react with a particular behavior. The way you show up in the world is totally up to you and within your control. Although, if you’ve never been taught that you probably don’t know how to make it happen.

If you want to create change in your relationships or in yourself, and you don’t know how to start, please schedule a time for us to speak.  https://lenaecoachsession.as.me/  

How do I want to feel? 

If you want to create a different outcome for yourself, if you are single and you want to be married, if you are fat and you want to be thin, it’s because you think you will feel different – better – when you have created that change. 

Being a human, you’ve been taught to look at your life through a filter of what you don’t have and then compare yourself to all the people who have those things and seem so happy. So you then draw a conclusion that the thing that is making those other people happy is the very thing you don’t have. What you need to know is if you feel sad it’s perfectly reasonable to want to feel happy – but if you’re sad and also happen to be single, simply being married will not make you happy. If your body is larger than you’d like simply losing weight will not make you love yourself, because if you’re anything like I used to be, once the weight comes off you’ll start worrying about keeping it off and being scared that it will come back, and eventually that’s all you’ll be thinking about – not happy.

What the diets never tell you: if you want to lose weight and keep it off for good without ever feeling deprived, please schedule a time for us to speak.  https://lenaecoachsession.as.me/  

What can I do about it?

If you are sad and also happen to be single please know you don’t have to wait until you’re married to be happy. As a matter of fact, it’s much more likely that you will be able to begin a fulfilling, enriched, romantic relationship with a quality man when you are already happy. Think about this  –  would you rather date a man who’s happy and fun to be with or one who expects you to make him happy?

If you think your weight is the cause of your sadness please know you don’t have to wait until you’re thin to feel good about yourself. It’s been my personal experience that my weight didn’t come off and stay off for good until I lifted the mental weight I was carrying around for so long. I was never able to lose enough weight to love myself; I had to love myself enough to lose the weight.

I am certified as both a Life and Weight Coach and I will gladly share with you all that I have been taught, and have experienced and created in my own life transformation.

If you want to create change in your life and you don’t know how to start, please schedule a time for us to speak.  https://lenaecoachsession.as.me/  

Racism and Relationships

Black Lives Still Matter

This is uncomfortable. It’s inconvenient to have protests. And it’s certainly not right that people are vandalizing property and looting businesses. Being polite will get them a lot farther than being angry. If someone disagrees with the status quo they can leave. It’s disrespectful to the flag and people who serve. When is it going to end?

Have you said or thought any of these statements above?

 

Just because something has been done a certain way up until now doesn’t make it right,  doesn’t mean it has to be done this way forever and more so – it doesn’t mean it was ever implemented for good intent in the first place. 

 

In my naivety I thought that our justice system and system of policing were simply broken. And I thought it was just a matter of time before it would be repaired. I’ve since learned that it is not broken, that the systemic racism that accounts for incarcerating and killing disproportionately high numbers of Black men and Black women – and the socio-economic system that keeps them and Black children disproportionately economically disadvantaged – is an outgrowth of the system of capturing runaway slaves. It’s not broken, it is working exactly the way it was intended to work. That is a sobering thought.

 

To those of you who are in alignment with any of the statements in the first paragraph, if you’re still reading, I will say this: 

 

You must be uncomfortable to grow. Change is disruptive and uncomfortable. If politeness worked to effect change then Colin Kaepernick’s kneeling during the national anthem would have ended the offensive practices of police brutality and a white police officer wouldn’t have knelt on the neck of George Floyd for 8 minutes and 46 seconds. And another wouldn’t have killed Breonna Taylor while she slept in her own bed.

 

But politeness didn’t work did it? Why? Because the people who are outraged over the protests and calling them riots – which they are not – are the same people who were incensed that Colin Kaepernick took a knee in silence.

 

See how that works? It’s called damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Those people don’t want change, period. And they are going to complain about anything that is done to force them to confront the issues, They are going to resist any effort to see what is happening and how it makes them feel.

 

Relationships With Ourselves 

In this space we talk about relationships. What does that mean for racism? You can use relationships with other people as a way to make yourself happy, as in finding someone you believe is the reason you are feeling happy, (which is an entirely different conversation) or you can harness the power of your relationships as a vehicle to change and grow personally. I suggest you choose the second option, always, and that work is going to start with your relationship with yourself. And that entails being willing to examine all your thoughts, especially the ones buried so far down in your soul you’re not even aware you’re thinking them.

 

Believing that I wasn’t racist because I see people of all races as individuals and God’s children, I also didn’t see myself as entitled.

This morning I finally confronted myself on that issue. I’ve lived in my current home for many years and I love it. It plays center stage in most of my gratitude journaling. I’ve always said that I didn’t like that my neighborhood was predominately white when I first moved in and I’m happy that over the years it has become much more racially mixed. But I never put two and two together. I have never, up until now realized that I would not have gotten this apartment if I weren’t white. I never said it before, I never allowed myself to even think it before.

 

And now I have. I saw it. I said it. I felt embarrassed. I felt shame for not ever seeing it before. That’s all. Now I move forward and I grow. Recriminations won’t help me do anything useful. Beating up on myself, wallowing, wanting to share my discovery and obtain absolution from someone – not helpful. 

 

If you want to help create change in this moment in the world, start with yourself. Change yourself, grow yourself, learn what you need to learn and then start implementing it, because when you grow society is also growing with you.

Relationships With Ourselves Going Forward

Get curious, not judgmental. Judging yourself for what you are discovering will not help you change. Having judgemental thoughts will create feelings of self-loathing and self-disgust and those are not feelings that will lead you to take useful, positive actions. (Just like when you try to lose weight by hating your body. That sh*t does not work.)

 

My offer to you is that it will be hard. It will hurt. It will feel terrible. It will be embarrassing. It may be the most discomfort you have felt in a very long time. And if you want to live in a society that is markedly different than the one we have right now, it will be worth it. Do it for yourself and know that I am creating change by doing this work with and for myself, right alongside you.

 

If you want to create change in your relationships or in yourself, and you don’t know how to start, please schedule a time for us to speak.  https://lenaecoachsession.as.me/  

Relationships With People

Black Lives Matter

In 2013, after the man who killed Trayvon Martin was acquitted in one of the greatest travesties our very blind justice system has ever perpetrated, the Black Lives Matter movement began.

It didn’t take long for some white people, upon hearing that phrase, to respond, “All lives matter.” And it didn’t take long after that for many Black people to say that the response undercut their message. I wondered why. In order to create change don’t we need to understand that Black lives are equal to all others? And if we’re all equal we all matter. What’s the problem with saying so?

I asked that question of a friend who said, it’s the way white people make everything about themselves. Why can’t we just focus on Black Lives? Why can’t we talk about Black Lives exclusively without feeling the need to include others? Why can’t we put the spotlight on Black Lives the way we always do on white lives, white people? 

I had to admit, I don’t recall ever hearing someone invoke “all lives” when talking about white people, do you? There was my white privilege showing. It was embarrassing to admit it. And I’m grateful my friend said it to me.

And here we are, in the summer of 2020, talking about the tragic death of George Floyd; his life ended by a white police officer while three other officers stood by and did nothing to save him. (I just learned the news that his charges have been upgraded and the three others will now be charged as well.)

Relationships With People

Lives are of paramount importance. And yet, we don’t have relationships with lives, we have relationships with people.

Black people are women and men and girls and boys and adolescents and young adults. Black people are daughters and sons and mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers and cousins, aunts and uncles and grandparents of every socio-economic status, every religion, every career, every political affiliation, every other possible denominator you could apply to anyone. It’s those denominators, the factors that show individuality, and unique qualities that must be seen and acknowledged in order to understand

Black People Matter.

Relationship is Plan A

Are you 100% committed?

Have you ever heard that if you really want to succeed at something you can’t have a Plan B? I never thought that I did. There’s always been something I wanted to do, some goal I was working toward, and I would have sworn to you that I was 100% committed since I wasn’t trying to do two things at once. I wasn’t out trying to start two businesses in case one didn’t make it, or entering the Pillsbury Bake-Off while trying to interest one of their competitors in my recipe just to hedge my bet. (That was so much fun! And my neighbors loved being my taste-test audience.)

What I didn’t realize is that having a Plan B is pretty much unconscious – and it is the ruin of many an achievable goal. If you’re not getting the things you say you want what you’re getting is your Plan B, and you probably don’t even realize you have one.

How do I know if I’ve got a Plan B?

When you state an intention to achieve a goal, that is Plan A. In order for something to count as a true goal it must be measurable. “I will earn $100,000 In 12 months in my business” or “I’m going to lose 25 pounds” are measurable goals. “I want to create a successful business” and “I’m going to eat better” are not, because there’s no way to measure ‘successful” or “better.”

You probably think, like I did, that since you don’t have an obviously competing goal that you must be committed to doing what you said you would. But you may be totally unconscious of your Plan B. Here’s the way you find out if you’ve got one lurking in the shadows waiting to scuttle your dream.

Answer this question: When you get to that notation in your calendar that says, “do the thing you said you’d do in order to create the goal” do you do it?

And if you don’t, do you know why not?

If this resonates for you then click here to sign up for my 4 step system and Have Fun on Every Single Date!

What do I do about it?

Each of us has an inherent Plan B because it is what protects us from taking actions our brains think are dangerous. That’s why we’re not aware of it, don’t see it as the conflict of interest it is, the way we would with a blatant conflict. Plan B is seeking pleasure and avoiding pain – or what your brain thinks of as pain. If your plan A involves being in a romantic relationship, which involves meeting men and dating them, actions leading to Plan B could be as simple as taking a nap rather than returning a man’s phone message. Even though you like him your brain tells you you’re much too tired to be at your ‘best.’

The first step in changing any unwanted behavior is acknowledging that you’re doing it. In this case you’ll have to acknowledge it’s the thing you’re not doing that you want to change. The second step is understanding why. So when you catch yourself in the fast-food drive through rather than home eating the fresh vegetables you bought to help with your weight loss plan, or not engaging in interactions with men that will help move a relationship on to the next level, ask yourself why.

Want to make major changes and don’t know how to start? Click here to sign up for my 4 step system and Have Fun on Every Single Date!

How does this apply to me?

If you have set your sights on being half of an enriched romantic partnership before this year is out, if you have promised yourself that this is the last time you’ll spend New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day, your birthday, or any other day of the year all by yourself, then that’s a goal and it sounds very measurable to me.

There are a lot of articles and posts that scream about self-sabotage and make you feel like a criminal for being human (maybe that was just me) as if you purposely and knowingly keep spoiling your own plans. There’s something you ought to know; I can help you change this so you can get what you desire – a fulfilling relationship with a quality man!

It doesn’t have to be this way.

If you see yourself in this description know that it can be different. You can have the romantic relationship you desire. You can change the way you’ve interacted up until now, you can let others love you. You can have the romance, fulfillment and connection you crave.

And I am here to help.

Yes, especially now, you can meet your high quality man and have the enriched romantic relationship you desire!

If you’d like to create different outcomes you need to take different actions, and I can help. Click here to sign up for my 4 step system and Have Fun on Every Single Date!

#20/20Vision

Relationship and You: You Must Do This First

Am I the only one in the world who feels like I’ll never find love?

Let me put your mind at ease – I can promise you, you’re not. Truly, the thoughts you are having about love, romance, companionship, partnership, and your probability of ever finding it for yourself, are shared by many, many other women, both women and men as a matter of fact.

Even as I wrote that I realized that I can’t. Put your mind at ease, I mean. I can promise you that what I said is true, but whether or not you find ease is totally dependent on what you choose to think. And that’s the point of the work I’ve been bringing to you here.

It’s human nature to want to belong to a group, to want to be accepted. Science suggests that our brains are wired that way because back when we all lived in caves being left alone to fend for yourself meant almost certain death. And lots of us think that one way to remain accepted is to hide the parts of yourself you think are wrong. Consider that: many people think that in order to be accepted by others they must reject great parts of themselves. They’re trading self-acceptance for (possible) acceptance by others. 

First things first.

We humans are quite adept at not doing the things for ourselves that we need, and searching for others to do them for us. And if we do find someone to do them, they just don’t ever do them exactly, perfectly right, do they? Often we can’t find others to do them at all, because they are things that we must do for ourselves – at least at first.

We keep outsourcing our results, handing over the self-control we ought to have to friends and lovers and sometimes total strangers. We look to others to validate our choices, assure us of our worthiness, fill in the gaps in our own thought processes. If you don’t believe you’ve ever done this yourself, think back to high school and ask if you ever once cared more about your opinion of yourself than what that cute boy from your AP English class thought of you.

If this resonates for you then click here to sign up for my 4 step system and Have Fun on Every Single Date!

Love yourself first. Yes, really.

I know, I know, you’re tired of hearing, “You have to love yourself before you can find someone to love you.” It’s trite, it’s corny, it’s … TRUE! And here’s why.

You need buy-in for you to believe what others feel about you. And you can’t get it from anyone else other than you. Have you ever had someone tell you that they absolutely love the very thing (or one of the things) that you dislike about yourself? What happens?

You don’t believe them. There’s something in us that doesn’t believe it when people have an opposing viewpoint to our own. So what does it mean when someone tells you he loves you when you don’t believe that you are lovable? What happens when someone says he loves you when you don’t love you? 

You don’t believe him. If you don’t love yourself you can’t believe that others can truly love you, even though you want others to love you. Desperately. As a matter of fact, you’ve spent all your energy and focus searching for someone to love you so that you don’t have to and when you find someone who says he does, who says all the things you’ve been dying to hear, you can’t let him.

Want to make major changes and don’t know how to start? Click here to sign up for my 4 step system and Have Fun on Every Single Date!

I don’t believe you.

I know. I know you think I’m making something up or being dramatic just to make a point, but think about this – how many times has someone given you a compliment and rather than saying thank you and basking in the glow, you’ve said, “You don’t really mean that.”

How many times has a man told you the very thing you’d been waiting to hear, the very thing you always said would prove to you that someone loved you, and you wondered why in the world he would say that? 

The reason that you have to love yourself first is because, until you do, as much as you want it, you can’t allow someone else to love you either. 

Until you learn to love yourself nothing anyone else ever says or does can possibly be enough. You are constantly challenging him to prove to you that he really loves you and he never can. When he says he loves you, you wonder why. When he does nice things for you, you wonder why. You may think he’s lying, that  he’s trying to manipulate you, that he’s covering up for having done something wrong; the one thing that’s true is that you will not accept it. You will never believe it because you just can’t and you will create contention in your relationship and blame him for simply not loving you enough, or in the right way.

You will wind up pushing away the one thing you want more than anything in the world, and it will happen over and over again.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

If you see yourself in this description know that it can be different. You can have the romantic relationship you desire. You can change the way you’ve interacted up until now, you can let others love you. You can have romance, fulfillment and connection you crave.

And I am here to help.

Yes, especially now, you can meet your high quality man and have the enriched romantic relationship you desire!

If you’d like to create different outcomes you need to take different actions, and I can help. Click here to sign up for my 4 step system and Have Fun on Every Single Date!

#20/20Vision

A Relationship That’s Better Than Normal

Is my life ever going to go back to normal?

Maybe you’d like it to be better than normal this next time around. Normal was kind of boring sometimes. That life you used to live didn’t always feel good.  You spent way too much time home alone on Saturday nights, and when you did go out it seems like the men were so … not for you. 

Okay, so you’ve been spending these last few weeks at home alone on Saturday nights too, but hasn’t everybody? Everyone’s having the same experience right now, aren’t they? Everyone is watching Netflix and baking bread and video chatting with their grandchildren, right? They’re just waiting to get the all clear. What else is there to do?

Perhaps this is a great opportunity to create a life that will always be the way the old one wasn’t. You can have adventures and connection and romance and … fun! You can flirt and be flirted with, be cherished, adored, have the life you’ve always wanted.

Is it possible to really plan that? Yes. It is possible to plan and prepare for the life you want, rather than continuing to settle for the one you got – as a matter of fact, you have to. There are so many things you can start to do now so that when you are ready to meet a man in person you will feel more confident than you ever have before. There are things for you to learn – about men, about romance and about yourself. 

Sound good to you? If you want to make some changes but don’t know how click here and let’s talk!

We were so innocent then.

Remember how we used to call it online dating when all we were really doing was online meeting, and then dating in person? Seems so funny when we think of it now, because now we really are dating online! The technology is called video conferencing and it’s the way people are meeting and getting to know each other.

And in order to get to know men via video, you’re going to want to get to know a few other things first, like how to dress, how to do your makeup, how to position the camera so you look like your very best, most beautiful self!

But before you even get to those things, here’s something much more basic – who are you looking for? What kind of man is the very best match for you? Perhaps rather than thinking there’s nothing to do while you’re at home you can start to see this as the chance you’ve been waiting for – you can start a crash course in you! 

Lesson one in your course involves learning about yourself – your likes, your dislikes, your values, your lifestyle – be as you-focused as you possibly can – what a luxury! 

After you’ve made some decisions about yourself it’s time to think about him.

If you’d like to implement some of these ideas but don’t know how click here and let’s have a 20-minute conversation.

Everything will fall into place.

Have you ever done it this way before? Have you ever started the process of dating by thinking about yourself? If you said yes, that’s amazing! Give yourself a pat on the back, because most people, like 95%, just throw themselves out into the world and wait for someone to tell them who they are. They allow others to identify what they like and don’t like about them and they think it means something about themselves. (BTW, someone else’s opinion of you means nothing about you and everything about them.)

When you’ve laid this solid a foundation and gotten to know yourself really thoroughly, your experience of dating will be totally different than it ever has been before. You know how sometimes you wonder where all the nice, high-quality men are? They’ve been right in front of you all along! You’ll not only see them, you’ll hear them say things you’ve never heard men say before – about you – words that make you feel loved and desired. Yes, you.

Yes, you can have a fulfilling relationship with a quality man.

The thing is, though, that you can’t just wait until the day you get to leave your house and throw yourself out into the world and expect it to be magically different. You have work to do, and I think you know that. How do I know? Because up until now you haven’t been as happy as you’d like to be. You have good friends and family who love you, you have friends and family you love, but you haven’t ever made the kind of thrilling, romantic, fulfilling connection you crave. And you also haven’t had much fun on dates. 

You can have thrills, romance, fulfillment and connection. You can have fun on every single date!

And I am here to help.

Yes, especially now, you can meet your high quality man and have the enriched romantic relationship you desire!

If you’d like help applying these life-changing ideas in your own life click here and let’s talk!  https://lenaecoachsession.as.me/

And while you’re there, grab your copy of Have Fun on Every Single Date!

Get it Here

#20/20Vision

 

When it Comes to Quality Relationships, Feel it First

How do you think you’ll feel then?

Then, when? When you’re married. When you’re divorced. When you’ve lost the weight. When you’ve gained the muscle. When your kids leave home. When your kids move back in. When you’re sitting on top of your own business empire… whatever it is that you desire, you desire it for a reason. 

The reason you want to have something, or to do something, or to be with someone, it’s because you think you’ll feel good then. You think you’ll feel happy, in control, worthy, perhaps you even believe that when you have the thing you’ll feel … like everybody else.

What if you don’t?

We’ve all been taught that we ought to set goals and achieve them not only because it gives us something to strive toward as a way to grow; also because we will feel so great when we have the thing! But, what if that’s not really so? What if we can feel the way we want to feel with the thing or not?

Have you ever met someone who has, seemingly, all the things anyone could ever want and isn’t happy? 

Have you ever met someone who has very little and is filled with joy?

How is that possible? How is it possible that someone who might have a lot of money, a thriving business, a loving spouse and family isn’t happy? Aren’t you absolutely convinced that if you had any one of those things, let alone all of them, you’d be ecstatic?

How is it possible that someone who has very little, even less than you, can feel such joy? Because you’ve got some things but not the right things, and you’re not very happy.

It’s all available to you now!

Right now, at this very moment, do you feel happy? Do you feel good? Would you say you actually feel bad? The emotions you want to feel – joy, love, completeness, safe, certain, energized, light, just plain happy – are amazing! What are you waiting for? Wouldn’t you rather feel all of those things now? I know I would!

No matter what your circumstance is, the way you feel is coming directly from the way you think. We know that’s true because you’ve met people like the ones above who feel emotions that are counterintuitive to what you believe to be true.

What do I do now?

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but…

You’ve been taught it all backwards. Having the thing won’t bring you the feeling, you must first feel the feelings to power your actions to achieve your goal. Please don’t feel bad about this, though, because the people who taught you didn’t know any better, that’s what they were taught themselves.

You can change the way you feel right now, you don’t have to wait for some special day in the future … a day that might never come. And I am here to help.

What if you never achieve your goal? Does that mean you never get to feel those amazing emotions?

If you’d like help applying these life-changing ideas in your own life  click here and let’s talk!

Yes, you can have a fulfilling relationship with a quality man.

If you want to be in a relationship so that you can feel fulfilled, if you want to be with a quality man because that will make you feel high quality, if you want anything to do with a relationship and they haven’t been working out for you, please consider this – not only are you able to have all the emotions now, you have to have them all now. You have to go out in the world feeling the way you want to feel in order to match with the man who is looking for you!

And I can help.

Yes, especially now, you can have the enriched romantic relationship you desire!

If you’d like help applying these life-changing ideas in your own life click here and let’s talk!  https://lenaecoachsession.as.me/

And while you’re there, grab your copy of Have Fun on Every Single Date!

Get it Here

#20/20Vision