Goal!

Variations on the same theme keep coming up, so today we’re talking about…

THIS is why you’re not having any fun dating!

In order to create a different result it’s vitally important to understand why you’ve got the result you have. When you don’t understand why you’re not having the relationship you desire and you don’t understand why you keep having the relationships you don’t want you’re just stuck in the same loop. You wind up dating the same man with a different face over and over. And over again.

A friend sent me this note and I share it with her permission:

“14 Steps to Having Fun Dating! talks to me of a few years ago. I was dating as part of a husband hunt and it wasn’t fun. I was looking for those tick boxes. Then I met a guy who was totally inappropriate and decided I would just have fun. Now we’re married of course, because I was focused on having fun WITH HIM not JUDGING HIM (her emphasis). What you are doing is so important”

When you scroll through pics how do you decide whether to swipe left or right? Do you wonder if he’d make a good husband or if he’d be fun to date?

When a friend says she wants to set you up with her bf’s buddy, do you ask what he does for a living or if he likes karaoke?

When you’re sitting across the table from a man you’ve just met are you weighing his words, actions and potential against your tick boxes, or thinking you like the sparkle in his eyes when he talks about his hobbies and he’d probably be fun to spend time with?

I know, I know – you want to be married. Or at least in a committed relationship. But here’s the thing. In order to eventually be married with someone you can’t skip the part where you’re not married with someone. No man you ever meet will be your husband if you don’t first allow the man you meet to be your date. And then your boyfriend. Then your fiancé…..

The man you’re meeting for the first time who you’re disappointed with because he isn’t your husband isn’t supposed to be your husband, he’s supposed to be your date. And be honest – he’s probably doing a much better job of being your date than you’re giving him credit for.

Are you really ready to create an enriched, romantic relationship? Do you desire that one long-lasting love?

If you’d like to apply this in your life and don’t know how, please go to http://lenaehrenberg.com/contact/ to schedule a free, 20-minute coaching session.

And while you’re there, grab your copy of 14 Steps to Having Fun Dating!

Take 20 minutes to make 2020 different. For free!

#20/20Vision

 

Revolutionary!

Love is in the air! Not just because Valentine’s Day is about to turn the corner, but because love is always in the air.

Love is always around us, and compassion, sincerity, truth, kindness, generosity – they’re all there for us and it’s up to us to step up and take our share. How do we do that? By feeling all of those things within ourselves and then spreading them around. By believing we can and then doing it.

You might think it’s not up to you, that you have to wait to see what others are doing, how they’re acting so that you can then react. Let’s think about that word.

Reacting basically means that you are acting in the same way that someone else just did. They acted and then you re-acted to them. There are a lot of people acting in a lot of negative, unhealthy, downright mean ways, and when we are not mindful we can start acting just like them. That’s what I call air pollution.

How about if for this week you start to practice a little more mindfulness in your day? Perhaps you can pause for a moment after someone says something and decide whether it’s coming from an emotion you want to pass along, or if you’d like to respond with a different feeling rather than reacting in kind.

You have the ability to control the feelings you feel, and when you start to take advantage of your power and put forward more beneficial emotions you’ll positively impact not only your own results, but the feelings of others around you as well. Then they’ll start to positively impact their own results and so on, and so on, and… That’s how to start a revolution!

Are you really ready to create an enriched, romantic relationship? Do you desire that one long-lasting love?

If you’d like to apply this in your life and don’t know how, please go to http://lenaehrenberg.com/contact/ to schedule a free, 20-minute coaching session.

Take 20 minutes to make 2020 different. For free!

#20/20Vision

How or Why?

Do you find yourself wondering how? When there’s something you’d like to do, do you spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to do the entire thing before you even start? Do you ask other people how they do the thing you want? Do you ask a lot of other people?

It’s reasonable to think forward to at least the first step in a process so you can be prepared ahead of time if you need tools, and yet…

Do you ever wonder why? When there’s something you’d like to do, do you spend a lot of time thinking about your reason for doing it?

Your why is your fuel. That’s the thing that will keep you moving forward toward your goal. If you’re fueling a rocket it’s going to take a higher octane – greater focused attention – than if you’re fueling a lawn mower.

Do you want to be in a romantic relationship with a man of good character whose qualities beautifully align with and support your values, with whom you can create a loving partnership?

Why?

Because of the way you think you’ll feel when you’re in it.

As humans we are motivated to want things because of how we think we’ll feel when we have them. But in actuality, your feelings fuel your actions. Meaning, you are already feeling something and then taking an action propelled by that feeling.

And the thoughts you have – about yourself, men, relationships in general, create your feelings. Yes, really. You think that you believe (think) what you see (result). In reality, you see (result) what you believe (think).

You probably think you’ve done everything possible in your search, don’t you?

You’ve tried all the apps, you’ve been to singles mixers, you’ve been to bars and MeetUps and church socials… you think that’s how to do it.

If you’ve been asking yourself, “Where do I find him?” you’re asking the wrong question.

The question to ask is, “Who am I being now and who do I want to be when I’m with him?” The answer to this question is your rocket fuel!

Are you really ready to create an enriched, romantic relationship? Do you desire that one long-lasting love?

If you’d like to apply this in your life and don’t know how, please go to http://lenaehrenberg.com/contact/ to schedule a free, 20-minute coaching session.

Take 20 minutes to make 2020 different. For free!

#20/20Vision

Patterns

How’s 2020 treating you so far?

More important – how are you treating yourself?

When a New Year rolls around do you get all excited, make a bunch of resolutions, join a gym, start a diet, download a new dating app and wait for all the things to make you feel better? When you don’t see immediate change do you then feel exhausted and defeated and quit by February?

And then do you fall back into your old pattern of just talking about exercise, talking about weight loss, talking about how dating is hard, there are no good men out there, and how much you hate being online?

How would you feel if someone you really liked made a whole bunch of plans with you and then didn’t show up? I don’t think you’d be happy. You’d probably think you’d been lied to or taken for a fool. Once, maybe… but if it happened over and over would you trust that person?

I need to tell you something. It’s important. You might not want to hear it, but please try.

You are the person who’s making plans with you and not showing up. You’re lying to yourself. You’ve created a pattern that produces the same outcome every year and you don’t trust yourself to actually do what you say you want to do, so you don’t.

And you can change it. You can rebuild the trust you’ve lost. You can have everything you want, and you are the one to make it happen!

A great way to start is to look at the thoughts you’re thinking. Every day. Whether you get a beautiful journal or a yellow pad, make some time every day to sit down, think, and write it down. Get all your thoughts out on paper so you can see them separate from yourself.

Please don’t treat yourself in this New Year the way you’ve treated yourself in all the rest. Only you have the power to make 2020 different for yourself. And I have the utmost faith that you can do it!

Are you really ready to create an enriched, romantic relationship? Do you desire that one long-lasting love?

If you aren’t sure how to start or what to do, I’m only a click away!

If you’re ready to change your life contact me at http://lenaehrenberg.com/contact/ to schedule a free, 20-minute mini session. You’ll be truly amazed at how much good can be accomplished in 20 minutes!

Look forward, invest 20 minutes, reap the joy 2020 can deliver!

#2020Vision

20/20 Vision

Welcome to 2020!

What do you see for yourself?

What do you want to do, to be, to have?

What do you want to create, produce or accomplish that you never have before?

How do you want to feel doing it?

You truly can have all that you want in your life. How do I know? Because you created everything you have right now!

You may think that’s impossible. You may think that life happens to you that your results are determined by other people, or circumstances or whether Mercury is in retrograde.

Only if you believe it.

You see, when you believe something it becomes your truth. But you think that it’s the truth.

You have beliefs about yourself and you reinforce them every time you call yourself names or say you can’t do something or that you should have been able to do something and that you are in some way deficient, undeserving or unworthy. Then you go out into the world and look for evidence to prove your belief. Don’t you?

You do not simply believe what you see, you are seeing only what you already believe. You are having the thought first, and then you see the result.

And that’s the best news ever!

Ever single day you are unconsciously creating your results.

Now you know you can consciously create them!

My wish for you is that you will decide what you want and how you want it and see it right in front of and around you. See it. Have perfect vision.

Are you really ready to create an enriched, romantic relationship? Do you desire that one long-lasting love?

I want you to know that the most effective way to get to the heart of this issue is to have a coach like me help you. Quickly finding the root of what’s going on with you so you can start changing it right away is what I’m trained to do.

When you’re really, really ready to have the thing you really, really want and you’re ready to get help to achieve it at last, I’m only a click away!

If these ideas resonate with you and you’re ready to change your life contact me at http://lenaehrenberg.com/contact/ to schedule a free, 20-minute mini session.

Look forward, invest 20 minutes, reap the joy 2020 can deliver!

#2020Vision 

 

Open Your Present in the Present

Today’s the day! You’ve been waiting for it all year, dreaming about presents, eggnog and gelt and it’s finally HERE! It’s…

One week until the New Year!

Didja think I’d say something about Christmas or Hanukkah? You’ve been doing either one (or both) of those since you were a little one; I trust you’ve got that covered so you and I can talk about something you might not have so well in hand.

How are you going to create the enriched romantic relationship you so dearly desire? How will your most intimate personal relationships be more fulfilling in 2020 than they’ve been up until now?

Here’s a little gift from me to you, and I want you to open it and use it right now:

Close your eyes. Inhale. Exhale. Pause. Feel your heartbeat.

Say out loud,

“I’m so grateful for all the beautiful friends and family members, for all the people in my experience right now, who I love and who love me. And I can’t wait to see who joins me as I expand my life in new directions in the coming year!”

And then take this gratitude forward with you into the next week. And the week after that. Revel in the abundance of your gratitude and the gratitude for your abundance!

You have to do something different so in the New Year you can have something different!

You can have the love you desire!

I want you to know that the most effective way to get to the heart of this issue is to have a coach like me help you. Quickly finding the root of what’s going on with you so you can start changing it right away is what I’m trained to do.

When you’re really, really ready to have the thing you really, really want and you’re ready to get help to achieve it at last, I’m only a click away!

If these ideas resonate with you and you’re ready to change your life contact me at http://lenaehrenberg.com/contact/ and we can schedule a free, 20-minute phone call.

Right now, take a moment and affirm for yourself:

The more grateful I feel the more I feel I have to be grateful for!

20/20 Holiday Edition

Peace, Joy, Love, Abundance, Newness, Insight, Awareness, Alacrity, Growth, Happiness – all that you wish for, all that you create, all that you desire – may it all be yours to have, to do, to be in the coming year!

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

Falalalala! … we’re one week closer to Christmas! Are you closer to having the love that you really, really want?

Have you been able to gift yourself the time, the attention, the permission you need, to make creating an enriched, romantic relationship a priority for yourself in 2020?

Are you having fun dating? Would you like to?

Contrary to what you might be thinking, that is not a trick question! Yes, you can have the relationship of your dreams and yes, you can have fun on a date!

Here are 3 things you absolutely need to do to make that happen:

Plan ahead

You get to decide how you want your date to go, and you get to make it happen. Isn’t that amazing? You might wonder how that’s possible, but right now, without even realizing it, you’re already planning. How? By believing that all men online are married, or only want sex, or both. By believing that a man is uninterested in you or boring when he might only be talking a lot about his work because he’s nervous. By listening to your friends’ complaints about men as if they’re the gospel truth. Spoiler alert – they’re NOT.

When you consciously plan ahead you have the luxury of dreaming up a positive result and you can be prepared to make it happen.

Look for what’s good

In the location, in the conversation, in him! My clients all know the first question I’ll ask them after a date is, what are the three things you liked about him?

It’s really easy to slip into a habit of only noticing what’s not good, seeing what you don’t like and pretty soon, that’s all you see. If you want to find someone to love it will help to like him first. 🙂 And you do that by consciously developing your “like” muscle.

Quit quitting

Quit quitting on your dates. Quit quitting on yourself. I used to do it all the time. I’d be sitting across a table from a man who was talking a lot about his work or a hobby or the game on TV, and rather than realizing he was just trying to make conversation I’d decide he wasn’t interested and I’d quit. I’d stop listening, I’d stop talking, stop engaging. Then I’d get home and decide it was so hard I needed a break, so I’d stop dating altogether.

Can I share a secret with you I wish someone had told me?

Quitting anything is really quitting on yourself, and quitting isn’t the quickest way to achieve anything you want.

Promise yourself that in 2020 you’ll do something different so you can have something different! And don’t just say it, do it!

You can have the love you desire!

I want you to know that the most effective way to get to the heart of your specific issue is to have a coach like me help you. I’m trained to quickly find the root of what’s creating the results you’ve got so you can start creating the results you want right away.

When you’re really, really ready to have the thing you really, really want and you’re ready to get help to achieve it at last, I’m only a click away!

If these ideas resonate with you and you’re ready to change your romantic results click here https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=17115391 to schedule a free, 20-minute coaching session.

You’d be amazed at how fast your life can change in 20 minutes!

Right now, take a moment and affirm for yourself:

I quit quitting!

The Perfect Gift!

Welcome to the holidays! So many cultures, religions, traditions offer gifts at this time of year. And as many are looking forward to ringing in the New Year, with all the possibility that it evokes!

My desire is that you gift yourself something now that will create massive change for you in the New Year. Give yourself the luxury of thinking about you!

Think about yourself; your wants, needs, desires and beliefs.

Why do you want to be in a relationship?

What do you think you’ll have then that you don’t have now?

Do you think you’ll feel loved and desired and worthy?

Do you think that a man will make you feel all of those things?

When someone does tell you all the good things about you that you want to hear, how will you feel?

Will you believe him?

Will he ever be able to say enough?

Will he ever be able to do enough?

Will he ever be able to assure you enough?

Have you ever tried to love someone who didn’t love himself or assure someone who would not be assured?

It can’t be done. It’s impossible because it’s not about what you do, it’s about what they choose to believe.

In this season of giving I’d love for you to give yourself a beautiful gift. Take a step toward creating the enriched, romantic relationship you desire! Each thing you’ve done up until now has created the results you have now.

Do something different so in the New Year you can have something different!

You can have the love you desire!

I want you to know that the most effective way to get to the heart of this issue is to have a coach like me help you. Quickly finding the root of what’s going on with you so you can start changing it right away is what I’m trained to do.

When you’re really, really ready to have the thing you really, really want and you’re ready to get help to achieve it at last, I’m only a click away!

If these ideas resonate with you and you’re ready to change your life contact me at info@lenaehrenberg.com and we can schedule a free, 20-minute phone call.

Right now, take a moment and affirm for yourself:

Yes! I get to have what I really, really want!