A client asked if it’s okay to show emotion while on a date. She was really asking if it’s okay to cry.
It makes total sense that she’s questioning this, because of the way so many of us think about emotions in general, and sadness specifically. I’ve always wondered why, whether it’s an outpouring of sadness or feeling deeply touched, crying is the only public display of emotion for which we apologize.
When a man says something funny do you wonder if it’s okay to laugh? When he shares the news that someone close to him has passed away do you question whether it’s appropriate to offer condolences? It probably doesn’t even occur to you to wonder, does it? You just do what comes naturally.
When you use the word emotional do you really mean sad? Happiness is also an emotion and it’s expressed by laughter. And upon hearing tender news, compassion is an emotion often expressed by a sincere offer of sympathy.
There are people I think ought to apologize for showing emotion in public – the ones who can’t control their anger. The people who yell, fume, storm, stamp and intimidate are also ‘being emotional.’
I’d like to offer you, my dear dating friend, this idea – when you can view all emotions as valuable, when you can embrace all of your emotions as an integral part of you, magic will happen! Grow open to the idea that it is as valid to feel sadness as joy, that vulnerability does not equal weakness, and that at the appropriate time and place you may feel free to express whatever you are feeling.
And perhaps this is a good time to point out what I hope is obvious – share your emotions as part of creating genuine connections, not to try and make someone else feel or do something.
And if you consciously choose to share your feelings with the man sitting across the table, like with everything else you choose, make sure you like your reasons.
You can have the love you’ve been seeking. Please make an appointment for your private, 20-minute coaching session so you can learn why you’ve had the experiences you’ve had up until now. That’s the first step in creating the new results you want.
I promise you that in only 20-minutes you will get answers to questions you’ve been asking yourself for a long, long time.
Are you really ready to create an enriched, romantic relationship? Do you want that one long-lasting love of your life?
If you’d like to apply this in your life and don’t know how, please go to http://lenaehrenberg.com/contact/ to schedule a free, 20-minute coaching session.
And while you’re there, grab your copy of Have Fun on Every Single Date! Get it Here
Take 20 minutes to make 2020 different.